Some parents want to control their children's lives. I remember going to my first college parent meeting. We were told that it was time to back off and let our kids sink or swim. The leader of the meeting politely informed us that we were not allowed to call professors and discuss the progress of our young adults. If we didn't hear from our child every night, it was not the university's job to keep us informed. In other words, "Back off parents, and let your child grow up." I accepted this as law and felt that I had lost what little control I had once my kids were enrolled in college.
I read an article this morning that talked about helicopter parents and had to laugh.
An ongoing nationwide study finds that up to 60 percent of college parents are so-called "helicopter parents" -- a generation of mothers and fathers who hover over their children from the cradle to college.
The "black hawk parent" is typically angry, abusive and would go straight to the president's office no matter how minor the concern. The "toxic parent" is paranoid enough to log on to their child's online social networking pages as their child to research friends and roommates.
When did colleges start allowing parents to have a say? Was I one of the few who believed their spiel and slapped my hand when it reached for the phone?
Probably the best idea is to let children make their own decisions under supervision and trust that they are ready for the college experience. If they don't seem ready to leave home, community colleges are available. It is important to stay on top of things to make sure kids are safe and responsible. They also need to learn to become responsible and make some of their own decisions. I had a sixth grader tell me once that he wished his mother would just stay home. He almost started crying when she showed up to watch his social studies class one day. She was always at the school. She watched his every move. Some teachers wondered if she would be hiding under his desk some day when he made it to the working world.
Yesterday I saw a family with three young children having their pictures made in a beautiful park setting. There was obviously a professional photographer and a clown that did all sorts of clown routines to get the kids to smile and laugh for the pictures. I'm sure the pictures are fantastic. It did make me think about how differently children are raised.
Surely, by the time they go to college, the clowns need to be left at home.