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My Goal Is Not to Make a Difference

Published 07 July 07 08:43 PM | jtspencer 

Whenever I ask most teachers why they teach, the number one answer is, "to make a difference."  I think I once half-heartedly believed that, but not anymore. 

A few years ago, I spent time after school every day working with a student.  I watched as he eagerly grew passionate about social studies.  He would report back to me with stories from the news and we would discuss things for awhile, before I helped him with his homework.  For some reason, he enjoyed my class.  The creativity and media projects worked well with him and slowly he spoke up in class.  Yet, most teachers couldn't stand him.  I had seen how he could get defiant and disrespectful.  Still, by the end of the year, I felt like I had made a difference.  Then, at summer school, his sister explained that he was in jail.  I was crushed.

I'm not Superman.  I have no special powers, aside from, in the spur of the moment being able to offer a semi-witty, often sarcastic remark (It's more of a tragic flaw).  Besides, I would look hideous in tights.  Slacks seem to hide cellulite better.  Moreover, I do not believe it is my job to play the role of superhero.  I am not a savior to my students.  I am not there to make a difference.  Still, when I explain this to teachers, they respond as if I have committed blasphemy. 

My chief motive is not to make a difference.  Rather, it is to serve students and to teach them to the best of my ability.  Instead of impact, I am for faithfulness.  Sure, it's a nice bonus when I make a difference, but I teach because it is who I am.  Teaching is my vocation, deriving from something deep within my being.  When I teach well, it is when I love the students well and I am living out this sense of vocation.  Ultimately, if I am faithful to this notion of service, some students will choose for themselves to apply what I taught to their lives.  Yet, it will always be their decision.   

Aiming for impact is different.  If I am to make a difference, the result is either arrogance or dissapointment.  I either say, "Man, I tried so hard and I didn't make a difference.  I must have screwed up." or I would say, "I've tried so hard with them and they just don't care," and I would grow angry at their apathy or I would say, "Man, those kids turned out great.  I did a wonderful job."  Yet, if I am faithful to the vocation of teaching, I can still find hope when a kid ends up in prison.  I know, ultimately, it is not a waste of time. 

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Comments
# Lorne said on July 8, 2007 11:44 AM:

You expressed your views very eloquently and I agree with your perspective. When I was teaching, I always tried to retain a certain humility with regard to what I was accomplishing.  I provided a sound learning environment to the best of my ability, but ultimately, it was up to the students as to whether they partook positively of that environment.  If a student failed, I rarely felt especially emotional over it, as I recognized that he/she failed him/herself.  Conversely, when students really excelled, I recognized that it really was more because of their own drive and abilities than it was my skills as a teacher.

Once I had a student who worked with me throughout the semester to improve his essay work.  He wound up doing quite well in the course,having improved his ability to express himslef significantly, and at the end he thanked me for my help.  I said to him, "But you're the one who did all the work. You had the discipline to work and rework you're writing.  All I did was to provide some structure, which would have amounted to nothing had you not had the will to excel."

# jwag2005 said on July 8, 2007 2:32 PM:

I agree that the reason I teach is not to make a difference. That is an occasional perk of the job for sure, but it's atypical. Sometimes the best we can do is simply not mess someone up any further.

At the same time, I know a lot of people are in teaching not to make a difference, but rather to make a name for themselves. Generally this isn't those in the elementary or secondary core subject areas. But I know as you get to upper level athletics and fine arts, some people are out there for self-promotion. That to me is sad, because I've found that often when we try really hard to do something, we end up doing quite the opposite.

In my early days, I tried really hard to get kids to like me and they ended up walking all over me and not respecting me. Now I simply try to be consistent and fair and they generally tend to like and respect me. I think that by trying to effective at teaching your subject area, you will end up making more of a difference than those who focus on making a difference do.

# MysteryTeacher said on July 9, 2007 12:15 AM:

I also don't teach to make a difference.  I teach because I love learning and I love helping my students to love learning.  Not all of them do but I try.  I am now getting students who are children of my first classes.  They want their kids in my room because they enjoyed my class.  That is the ultimate compliment.

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About jtspencer

I am a teacher in an inner-city Phoenix school. I'm not a big fan of online anonymity, so I'll tell you exactly who I am: I teach seventh and eighth grade social studies at Frank Borman Middle School. I love teaching, but I also know that it can be challenging. I am married and have two sons.