Musings from a Not-So-Master Teacher

Journal Entry #3 - NAU Class Journal

I walk into a teacher's classroom to return a roll of masking tape.  She is nice and friendly, but burned out.  While students throw paper balls, she checks her Yahoo e-mail account and tries to engage in conversation.  I feel bad for her, because of the situation.  "How are the kids?" she asks.  In mid-sentence, she interupts me to yell, "Get to work.  You have ten minutes to finish the chapter!" So, I judge her and then feel bad about judging her. 

I have a hunch that she's tired (Aren't we all?) and that teaching might not suit her personality.  Yet, at one time, I think she really wanted to teach.  I look at that faded Garfield poster (why does he have the cartoon monopoly on education?) with the bright colors and that was once her.  She once believed the cliche poster line that"attitude is everything." That's the sad part.  Even then, I suspect that the biggest issue is that she does not have a core philosophy of education. She is quick to dismiss anything philosophical as "just a bunch of theory," yet I think she could use some theory. 

What should schools do with teachers like that?  Should they tell them how to teach or should teachers have the freedom to figure it out on their own?  What are the best practices?  Who should decide?  Parents? Teachers? Scientists?  I used to think I knew, but lately I'm not so sure.  I'm not even sure if I can separate out all the theories. 

Educational theory is not a linear, fill-in-the-blank, pretty box.  Despite the bold words and large-font subheadings, the reality of each theory does not fit well within a textbook.  Often, the authors work hard at taking complex theories (the research of a theorist who spent a lifetime studying a topic and wrote twenty books) and condensing it into four paragraphs.  After awhile, I begin to believe the illusion that each theory can fit into a t-chart with rigid black lines.

In reality, educaitonal theory is more like a web.  One idea leads to another, connecting here and there, contradicting at another moment, turning into an aburpt stop.  What I cannot figure out is if this web of theory is good.  Is it a spider web trapping me into a mental forest where I will be forever lost?  Is the theory so filled with abstraction that it turns meaningless?  Are the answers so covered in paradox that I am better off being ignorant?  Or is the web a safety net that provides stability when I am so quick to fall off and make mistakes?  Does the web form a sort of foundation?

I have no idea right now.  As I work on technology integration and read my textbooks, I am confused even about the core issues: What is the role of a learner and what is the role of a teacher.  What are the best methods?  I don't buy into performance objectives, because I don't see learning as a performance, a set of behaviors like dogs earning treats for doing tricks.  At the same time, I am a little skeptical of what happens when students do not have enough structure.

Where that leaves me is with a metaphor. It seems that metaphors can often speak truth in areas that are too abstract for theory.  Metaphor has that way of blending the abstract concept with the concrete reality.  So, I'm going to re-read an old paper I wrote when I was in my first year of the college classes.  It was my metaphor of education.  I'm going to modify it and post it tomorrow.