It always amazes me how strong the personalities are in our
classroom -- sometimes, you can just see the parents talking through
their children; or you'll catch glimpses of what their parents must be like.
There is one girl in our class who is particularly... aggressive. Don't piss
her off -- i.e., do things her way -- or risk her bossy, confrontational,
"I'm right, you're wrong" attitude for the rest of the lesson. Ooooh
people with so much pride bug me to no end. But she's a kid... justifying...?
So the kids were making hot-air balloons today (as part of an
"inventions" unit for science), and were in groups of 2 or 3. This one
girl worked with two other girls and completely bossed the other two
around. She wouldn't let them cut the paper because she was
sure
it could only be done her way; she wouldn't let them glue the paper
together because the others would do it wrong; she got irrationally
pissed at the other two girls for working ahead and making the basket
to put under the balloon that she didn't help make, because they didn't
take her advice and wouldn't let her touch their project. Yet she
remained vindicated because they were stubborn and didn't take her
advice.
Yikes.
Sometimes I feel like I'm learning to be more of a parent or... life
counselor than a teacher. (considering a teacher is only meant to give
instruction to children - which they are not).
I talked to the three about teamwork: about sharing ideas, sharing
responsibilities, trusting and giving merit to each other's thoughts
and opinions. Recognizing what opinions are. Seeing the importance of
sharing.
When that didn't work,
I tried to get them to put the past behind and attempted to get them
more excited about the next step in making the hot-air balloon - which
they could make together! (obviously a more desperate attempt to
reconcile and bury the past -- definitely not the best option).
As expected, that failed too... the girl just sulked and pouted with
her arms crossed while the other two continued to make the basket -
scared to ask the girl for help because she would stomp all over them
and take over.
Finally, after moving on to another table and coming back, I talked to the girl very directly,
"(Name), do you think they're listening to your advice?"
No.
"Well, do you think that you're listening to their advice?"
Yeah.
"I don't think you're really listening to hear what they say, (Name)"
-Pause-
-Ponder-
"Why don't you try asking them how you can help?"
No.
(talking to other two girls)
"Can you guys use any help with this step in making the basket?"
"Yes, she can hole-punch these four sides..."
-- silence --
... and after a minute or so, the girl reached out to help; swallowing her pride and learning to work with people.
You can judge, as I initially did, at the girl's bossy-ness... but with
almost all grade 3 students, half the time they don't even know they're
not listening to others' advice.
So yes, people with so much pride do bug me to no end. But she's a
kid... and she can, with the right experiences and correctly fostered
environment, learn to socialize and work with people in all situations.