The Lesson by Roger McGough
Chaos ruled OK in the classroom
as bravely the teacher walked in
the nooligans ignored him
hid voice was lost in the din
"The theme for today is violence
and homework will be set
I'm going to teach you a lesson
one that you'll never forget"
He picked on a boy who was shouting
and throttled him then and there
then garrotted the girl behind him
(the one with grotty hair)
Then sword in hand he hacked his way
between the chattering rows
"First come, first severed" he declared
"fingers, feet or toes"
He threw the sword at a latecomer
it struck with deadly aim
then pulling out a shotgun
he continued with his game
The first blast cleared the backrow
(where those who skive hang out)
they collapsed like rubber dinghies
when the plug's pulled out
"Please may I leave the room sir?"
a trembling vandal enquired
"Of course you may" said teacher
put the gun to his temple and fired
The Head popped a head round the doorway
to see why a din was being made
nodded understandingly
then tossed in a grenade
And when the ammo was well spent
with blood on every chair
Silence shuffled forward
with its hands up in the air
The teacher surveyed the carnage
the dying and the dead
He waggled a finger severely
"Now let that be a lesson" he said
I first heard the name Roger McGough during one of the Poetry Appreciation tutorials given by my English Literature professor, Iain McMillan four years ago. When I first read the poem, I was kinda horrified. The poem is rather gory and who would have thought that this is considered a children's poem? According to Iain, this poem is considered a satire and it poked fun at how some teachers might have felt when handling some rumbustious students in class. Some of my friends thought it is hilarious as it portrays the humor in teaching.
Do remember that this poem was written in the early 70s and way before all the shootings in Columbine and Dunblane.
What do you think of the poem?
I'd like to share these songs as I felt they hit on all the right notes. They are sung by
Judy Domeny Bowen and simply hilarious and delightful. These are some of my favorites :
So You Want To Be A TeacherSchoolteacher StampedeTeacher Of The YearCheck them out!
Fate brought me to TeacherLingo,
Where I found blogging can be done in gusto,
The teacher are united, we are numero uno,
Our presences are felt, no longer in shadows.
Teaching is my passion, my utmost delight,
I learn as I teach, I'm not always right,
To me, we are beacons guiding through the night,
When the future seems dim, we provide the light.
Teaching is fun but it can drive you mad,
Students can drive you crazy, it makes you sad,
Be resilient and it won't turn that bad,
You'd be glad when you see them grad! 