I am not a screamer.  I am a yell-er.  My class is very noisy and I have need of a strong voice to get their attention.  They work in groups and forget that there are 34 students in the class.  I do not put children down, or make them feel small in the classroom.  Children are the reason I am here.  I did not appreciate your advice because you are not here and walking in my shoes.  I find it curious that you have advice for a student you do not have.  This is 4th grade.  Wetting your pants in 4th grade is NOT acceptable unless you have a medical problem.  Regardless, my students are allowed to go to the bathroom as needed except when I am teaching or testing.  When it becomes a control issue, then we have a problem.