Today was a very surreal day. In someways, it was quite typical and other ways totally random, but let's see if you find any humor in any of this...
It starts with me being generally proud of myself for arriving to work on time. Generally, I am early, but because of daylight savings time/report cards/testing, I have been in another time zone lately. For instance, yesterday I got up at six, and just loafed around the house. I kept finding things to do and was totally unconcerned about being late. I didn't leave for work yesterday until 7:15, and I am usually there before that time. Let's just say it became a science experiment. Hmm, what variable can I change to decrease the elapsed time between leaving home and arriving at work...The constants are the distance traveled and means of transportation(which is a yellow Mazda 6, which my kids say looks like a banana colored race car)....hmm. Well, we all knows what happened. NASCAR, here I come! I just floored it and hoped for the best. I got to work just in time to pick up my kids from the morning assembly. It was awesome, and I was actually proud that I had cut my drive time in about half. I guess that is kinda sad.
At any rate, that was yesterday. Today I was on top of it, ironically arriving at the same time that I left home yesterday-at good ole' 7:15. Still a little late (for me anyways), but at least I was on the right side of town-that is always a plus. Bill, of course, in true form, accidentally leaves morning assembly with 3rd grade (although we sit by class, and in vertical rows, so I am not sure how that happened) and doesn't realize something is wrong until he is halfway to our classroom and notices the 3rd grade going the opposite direction. He then turns around and gives his signature look (no brow this time, but tongue hanging out of course). At that moment, I knew Bill was going to have a special day. Get ready, because there are lots of self hugs involved today as a result of him.
We continue on. I drink my frappuccino while taking attendance, kids turn in homework, the morning routine, etc. I then discover my lunch from yesterday that I forgot to eat, and decided that it probably wouldn't be safe to eat it today. The kids insisted I throw it out, which surprised me. I'd think they would want to see me eat it just to see if I would survive. The morning announcements inform the kids of a practice test (which I planned to keep secret to keep them from flipping out prematurely) and the kids wig. I am like, this is awesome. On a side note, this happened once before, but it was a field test instead of an in-home test, and Bill mishears this, and keeps asking me where the "field trip" is going to be. I then prematurely wish a kid in my class a Happy Birthday, only to realize that it is tomorrow instead. I had to play it off by mentioning that I know someone else with a birthday today (which I do, but still..)the kids looked at me like "sure you do..." I am off to an awesome start already.
We have a lively lesson in Social Studies, and everything is clicking. I was actually impressed with their interest in the exploitations of others, and moved by their growing militant mindset against the "founding" of the US. That alone made my day. That's right kids, question EVERYTHING. What added to the cake was how other subjects-like math, science, and language arts, were just flowing into our lesson. I plan for lots of integrating of subjects, but it's awesome when kids are like,"Hey, you are sneaking and teaching me math right now, and we are supposed to be doing Social Studies!"
What was even better was when my principal pops in doing what I call a "walk-by" (like a drive-by) where she or one of the assistant principals shows up unexpectedly to "see what we are learning." Walkthroughs are ok with me, cause I am always teaching and the kids are always doing something. Me and my teammate (I have two official teammates, but only one who is a true teammate-another long story) were actually teaching the same thing, so that is always good. That and as soon as they see Principal, the kids are all like, "Yeah, we did some of every subject in Social Studies today. It is a record!" Administration always loves that. At that moment, I think Bill even had his tongue in his mouth.
Those are the highlights till 11:10. Amongst all this, there are also what I like to call "special" moments. Notice that I use special a lot. That has been the word of the year. By special, always assume I mean "not so much" or special as in "Yeah, so here's an orange." Amongst all the great work, I get like five million calls on my classroom phone (I read a blog from Mimi-btw, I love her blogs-about the pains of having a phone and immediately thought of her) with all kinds of special requests. I have a kid who answers the phone, so she just shrugs after like the billionth call. Awesome things like the secretary asking if I have exported grades (we do electronic grade books), to parents with homework, lunches, etc. People calling the wrong school altogether, or just other "whoshine" as my kids will say, which means craziness.
In addition to the calls, I felt like today was the day of many visitors. I don't think my doorknob has seen so much action in one day! The principal came in, but also the librarian, secretary, and a CIS mentor (community in schools) showed up . None of these are scheduled, and they all either gave me something else to remember (half of which I have already forgotten) and some took things/dropped things off. Like the secretary took my iBook power cord. The principal starts trying to ask for my two cents on something that it was way too early in the morning to comment on, and I applaud myself for not ranting before 10:00, even in light of Bill about to lose it (I could tell he was going to start fading and falling off of the "happy bus of knowledge" in a matter of minutes). True to form, as soon as Principal leaves, Bill starts his daily shenanigans. Every time I look up, he is somewhere else in the room, saying random thing after another, with a wild look in his eyes. The look is endearing, disturbing, and quizzical about 50% of the time, 25% of the time it is downright hilarious, and the other quarter it just drives you crazy. It was like watching a ping pong ball go back and forth. Even with the coffee, I had to ask him to relocate in order to maintain our relationship. It was just too much...
At planning, I was talking to my teammate about the kids' gains during the year, and I was telling her that there is one that I worry about. It isn't Bill, so hah! Yes he is in his own planet, but at least he is in the same solar system. I worry about Larry (remember him?). He is on some planet that hasn't even been discovered yet and in some galaxy trillions of miles away from even Pluto, the "non" planet. Maybe this is really gross, but I was thinking about a chart that the instructional coaches showed us one day, charting our kids' gains in a subject (like math) from BOY to MOY. If you turn the chart sideways, to me it reminds me of sperm cells swimming to the egg at the end of the path. Well, most of my kids are "swimming" right along. Even Bill. I look at Larry, and he looks like the one "lazy sperm" that is not sure where it wants to go, and kind of just hangs out at the starting line. I am not sure what to do. He is a sweet kid. While Bill is all over the place, he still picks up enough "pieces" of everything to grow steadily. Larry, though not as "Bill-like" for lack of a better term, is the kid who will probably say "blue" when you are talking about something like, "How did the American revolution end?" The sad thing is that right after that, he will cringe and shake his head vigorously as he now has heard what he said, and then just looks away as if to go "if I don't acknowledge that I just said that, it didn't happen..." Then with some prompting and assistance, it repeats. You then give more scaffolding, and he finally gets it for awhile, but then it seems to escape him because after answering correctly, later on you ask him the same thing and the cycle starts all over again. It is like watching a dog chase his tail.... If it helps, he once ran into the back of a car going like 10MPH. Yes, he ran into the car. He was running and hit the car, not the car hit him. This happened like 4 years ago. Let that come to a simmer and marinate...
Flash forward to recess. Bill is still completing Social Studies (btw, social studies was in the morning -before 11:10-it is now 12:40ish and lunch and special areas have been completed as well). Also, the art teacher has hunted me down (my group didn't go to art today) to ask about "Bill" and inquire about his extra "special" behavior in her class today. This is great cause my group (I take one third of my class plus one third of each other 4th grade, and the other teachers in my grade do the same) went to Music, which was on the opposite end of the school, and the art teacher still manages to find me during this transition. Not only that, one of the assistant principals asks about Bill, saying that they miss him in the office (his teacher used to send him a lot last year, plus he'd run away from school then and they'd have to go find him). Maybe he will have to make a visit in the office-he has only been there twice from me this year (once I had to put him out of after school tutoring, which is pretty sad). This has been the day of Bill. I haven't even gotten to this afternoon yet.
The recess....oh yeah, I ran into one of my student's older siblings as I was running across the street to pick up my lunch (there is a small restaurant across the street from my school) and forget that I have this large econo-sized container of hand sanitizer in my hands. I get to the place and people start asking me for hand sanitizer-yeah, so we all know I deal with kids. Promise that is the last tangent.
Back to recess. Recess is a big block party, as I have brought out a boom box on my right shoulder (my salute to the 80's) and all the second graders, third, and fourth grade kids are doing line dances with me and the teachers. It was awesome. Esther Marie, one of my quieter kids, was like "312 is the best! We sing and dance and everyone else wants to do what we do!" Another fake name, brought to you by Larry, who is also still doing Social Studies outside with Bill. It is almost 1 now.
Back to the room and down to the math. I am teaching Bill and a few others science early since they will be leaving for math tutoring during science (another awesome story). Bill, even with a smaller group, raises his hand. I am already afraid, but before I have a chance to react, he informs me that he has a comment (saying I have a comment) and then proceeds to just tell a random story. About basements. Investigations and DNA evidence. And back to basements. The sad thing is that we were discussing folk legends about the origins of the moon and none of his "comment" linked at all. Poor Larry, who gets confused when things are relevant was mentally overloaded with that, and the other two children looked at Bill, then at me, then back at Bill and were dumbstruck. It was like watching a train wreck. I then told all the kids (here it comes!!!) to just stop for a moment and give themselves a big hug. Everyone in the group hugged themselves (myself included) except for Bill, who just stared with his tongue out. The kids looked at him, and then hugged themselves tighter. And another visitor that I forgot-the math tutor-comes in the room at that exact moment to get the kids-only it is like 30 minutes early. Later on, I find that she is having a "special" afternoon with Bill as well.
And the last hour and 45 mins goes on. I tutor 4th grade math after school with kids from the English classes, so I pick up my kids at 3:00 to get started (after missing after school duty, to which the kids laugh every time I tell them to walk quickly because I have to go do duty). Mel, short for Melvin (thanks again, Larry!) isn't in my tutoring group, but he passes by my group, but not before telling a 2nd grade teacher that she is "awesome" (another 312 joke that I have to explain one of these days) as well as KIS. Both teachers look to me, and I had to pull a "Larry" and just look confused. On cue, I hear Larry calling out to me and see him chasing garbage around the school. The kids ask me why, and I shrug, while remembering that his backpack is in the cafeteria. I inform him of this, and he looks confused....see where I am going with this. Remember the pattern. I wonder if he ever went to go get it. I already foresee him asking me at 8:00 tomorrow morning if he can go get it from the cafeteria. What is sad is that he will have had breakfast earlier in the cafeteria that day and honestly not think about his pack. Sigh. At least I still have some ice cream sandwiches in the lounge. And I did manage to avoid the Costco crew in the lounge who were peddling memberships today. And I did make it with Bill in tutoring today. I got my grades in before the secretary threatened to take away my first born child. All said, today was ok....