Yeah, so I know you have all been sweating bullets as you anticipated my blog about upcoming interviews for my new teammate. Or maybe you totally forgot about that as you celebrated your ability to pee and eat at random with the close of the school year. Or then again, maybe all of those things are things that I only do. Eat, sleep, and relieve myself. Sounds more like a newborn baby than a 25 year old, 4th year 4th grade teacher.
At any rate, the moment arrived. It has been a fun filled day of interviews! It was...an experience. One, in that it was my first time interacting with my new principal (who was at one time my assistant principal, but then became principal somewhere else and now she is back...). I will have to observe her more before I comment on her. I have to develop her character a little more before I can blog about her. The 4th grade team was called in to help with the interviews, so you can bet your bottom dollar that KIS was the only one who couldn't make it. Of course not. Why be interested in deciding who your new teammate will be when you don't work with your team anyways? I amaze myself expecting things like growth and collaboration from KIS...when will I ever learn?
The second thing that was interesting was that this was my first time on the other side of the interviewing process. I remember the days of practicing answering questions, making eye contact, and being sharply dressed. It was stressful to say the least. This time I got to ask the questions (as did my other teammate who actually did show up and the Principal). I noticed all those things that people warn you about in interviews. So here it goes-another list (we all know that I loves a good list or three): Things you should never do (or say) in an interview....
1. Don't come in smelling weird. It isn't so much that one person stank, it is just that the "fragrance" wasn't the one for her. Yeah. And I didn't think my nose was that sensitive.
2. Don't forget to moisturize your lips. I am looking at you when you talk, and it bothers me a lot when your lips look like you have been kissing fossils. I know, I need to grow in life, but please, chap stick is cheap.
3. Avoiding eye contact. Why is it so hard to look at me? I was fly today, everything matched (not guaranteed during the summer, so there). If you don't look at me when I am talking to you, I will think either that you are insecure or a liar.
4. Don't come in without knowing the talk of the field. If you want to be a teacher, I am going to need you to talk like you know "teacher talk." I shouldn't have to explain what literacy is. Classroom Management, differentiating instruction, all that jazz. Seriously....
5. Don't think I don't notice when you give indirect answers to my questions. Don't flounder about. Get to the point, don't talk in elaborate sentences about nothing. When you just drone on and on, I stop listening, and so does the rest of the panel. If I stop looking at you, and look down at the paper with my questions, and write less, something is wrong.
6. You can't fake the funk. Don't do this as a side gig. One person, in short, told us that this was something she was going to do for a few years until she basically figures out what she really wants to do with her life. She pretty much told us this was to pad her resume. IT WAS PART OF HER TEN YEAR PLAN, which really didn't have anything to do with education. I quit listening to anything she had to say after that...
7. If you know that the school's demographic is approximately 100% minority and 97% low SES, don't come in acting like you are the "Great White Hope," here to save the poor children whose parents just don't get how important education is. First off, as I much as I clown Bill, I love him to pieces. I am not here to "save" him from parents who don't know better. I am here to meet him where he is at. Yeah. You better love the kids before you can expect to lead them anywhere. They are not dumb. They can sense the "realness" of people. Why do you think they love me so much? I mean aside from my obvious awesomeness and the ability to hold my bladder for hours on end. I get on their cases, but they see me after school putting things together for them, or run into me at Target as I am buying things for a science project in class. I listen to them, we eat lunch together during the school year and talk about anything but school during those times. It is a very hard job, but I love what I do, and who I am working for-the Bills, Agnes Pearls, and Esther Maries. I need you to bring that energy and then some if you are going to kick it with the school marm from room 312. Get out of here with that weak stuff! Bring your heart and mind, with both wide open....
Yeah, yeah, I better stop. I am starting to sound like a NIKE commercial. Just Do it already!!! All I need to do is start pounding my chest, and slap my teammates on the butt like we are football players. Or maybe not do that. Yeah.
And with all that said, I will leave you with my favorite interview questions...
1. So let's say that hypothetically you had to deal with a difficult parent (or three , etc. I think to myself). How would you go about doing that?
2. How do you deal with teachers who are reluctant to change (channeling the image of KIS and her gender segregated classroom)?
3. What do you know about our school (thinking to myself, do you REALLY know what you are getting yourself into)?
4. What would be your ideal team situation (well, at least 2 out of 3 or your teammates wouldn't be antisocial)?
5. What are your strongest subject areas (Cause I need a teammate who is better at Language Arts than me, cause that isn't my strength-I am a math/science kinda gal)? How do you teach things that aren't your strength?
and finally...
6. How hospitable are you? From time to time, I need teammates who :
a) provide me with fruit or other snacks
b) have the ability to listen to me go on rants about structural changes that need to take place (and help me take on the system from time to time)
c) have a designated place in their classroom for me to lay out in from time to time
d) don't mind me showing up at all times of the day at random, like before school,, on the way to lunch, during specials, etc...I will call you when I feel the need as well.
e) will share my load-meaning my troubles and joys (not so my job, but relate to it rather) and share Margaritas as well after hours when it is a "special time."
Yeah, you lucked out-two lists for the price of one! And now I am off to eat dinner and watch Numb3rs, a show that I love because I think math is something I can "figure out." It shows that math teachers can be cool-they are not all old men who have been teaching since the attack at Pearl Harbor. No offense to old math nerds-just bringing in a new breed. A younger, sleeker, sexier breed....yeah..
Yeah, so I have been gone for about a week. I had a conference this past week. It was actually very good, and I took some things away from it that I will use in my classroom. On a different note, but still relating to the conference, I also took away something else with me. This conference included teachers from all over my state. If you have noticed anything about me, you notice that I notice many things. I get great joy and humor from people watching. This is where I get some of my best blog material-watching what others do. I considered this week a case study of teachers and their behaviors. Through scientific inquiry, I have discovered a few commonalities that teachers share, no matter where they teach, what grade, or for however many years of experience they have....ah yes, a list. I love a good list, and here this one goes:
Reality #1- We all know a KIS.
If you have been following me, you don't need me to remind you of the awesomeness that is my teammate KIS. If you haven't a clue what I am talking about, shame on you! I then am forced to keep you after school and make you write lines on my chalkboard (or rather, my dry erase board). At any rate, there is always bound to be some old crotchety teacher who is resistant to change and is the proverbial thorn in the thigh to progressive teachers everywhere. He or she has been teaching since about the Great Depression and has managed to capture the 1950's motif in his or her classroom. You know what I mean. You step into the room (that is assuming they even let you in the room to start with) and immediately feel like you have gone back in time like 30 years. Yellowed papers adorn the walls, and the kids sit in separate groups based on gender. Oh yeah. Good 'ole school, just like great grandma used to dream about...
Reality #2- I'm not the only one who wonders how some teachers can leave at dismissal and still get it all done.
Unlike KIS, who leaves promptly at the dismissal bell (she once almost ran me over as I was going to the parking lot to get something out of the trunk of my car after school one day) I stay after school to plan. I make copies, I find resources. I even -gasp- ask other teachers for ideas. I know, crazy, right? And yet it amazes me when I see teachers saunter out of the building promptly after dismissal. I could see if this was once in awhile because you have a doctor's appointment, or maybe it was just a long week (or day). But not everyday. During the school day, I rarely have sufficient time to do these things because lo and behold, I am teaching. Isn't that a strange concept? If not that, during my planning I am often being delegated to some task that the powers that be dropped on my plate while I was still drinking my coffee and getting distracted by the free muffins in the lounge (there is always a catch..don't forget that).
Reality #3- Some else really does have a student crazier/lazier/more "special" than yours.
I know it may be hard to phantom, but you will come across a teacher who has at least one kid that is more [insert adjective here] than your Bills, Agnes Pearls, and Mels. Sometimes the teacher with the "crazy" will be you. Other times, don't be surprised if someone down the road, across the street, or on the other side of town has "it" in a way that you never could imagine. But what do I know? I always get the cream of the crop, my kids are always inspired, and we rarely have to deal with flying chairs, swears, random conversations, jive talk (yes I said jive talk), hyperness, short attention spans, and turtling. Oh wait, that wasn't my room. I was looking in KIS' room. Sigh. *Walks back in own classroom and closes the door*
Reality #4- Teachers can be just as bad as their kids.
If you are ever fortunate enough to be in a room full of teachers, you will very quickly notice how we all mirror the different types of kids in our classes. Often times, our maturity level isn't far from what we teach. As much as we hate it when our kids talk while the teacher is teaching, what do you see teachers doing in meetings? Having side conversations with our neighbors, passing notes, drawing pictures in our notebooks. Then there are the annoying teachers who think they know it all and will not shut up (I wonder how their kids get a word in edgewise). The ones who keep going to the bathroom, and the ones who can't sit still. Then there are the ones who break out into a fit of laughter when the presenter says that today we are going to whack our balls. I am sorry, I will grow up, and try not to hold up class with my lewd laughter next time.
Lastly.....
Reality #5- Teachers love free stuff.
Okay, so who am I really fooling? We all know teachers live off of free things. Doesn't even really matter what the free thing is. At this conference, there were bottles of water out, fruit, candy, bags of chips, etc. outside of each room. That is fine and dandy. Of course teachers are snacking on the snacking snacks. But why are there teachers shoving bags of chips, Milky Ways, and 6 bottles of water in the free tote that we received? Again, free tote. I have like five million free totes that I have acquired over the period in which I have taught. What am I going to do with all of them? But back to the original thought. One teacher is having a conversation with me at our group table, and as we work, she very nonchalantly puts a plate, bowl, glass, some breakfast bars and cereal in her tote as if there is nothing strange about the move. Ok, so maybe she was just all out stealing. The line gets blurry. Right.
Yeah, so you will have to stay tuned as I will soon give you ways in which I compared my district's team of teachers to the cast of the Real World....
I have been free from the school year for approximately 8 days now. Wow. Only eight days. Am I ready to go back yet? Nah....
What have I managed to accomplish? Well, I went to a family reunion and successfully managed to avoid organizing all the kids I saw running around. I finally took my car to the body shop (after being rear ended about three months ago on my way to work, ironically) and it looks all new again. Stocked up on video games cause I plan on playing until my hands are shaped like claws-already happened once this summer. I also upped the hard drive on my computer so that I can store all of my music collection on it-major electronics upgrades on the way-awesome stuff.
Basically, everything had been going fine. I had been sleeping late (which for me is until 7:30 AM) and eating, peeing, etc. as I please. It is a teacher's dream. Craziness. I gotta plan for my trip to a science and math academy this week-I leave on Sunday and come back next Friday. Yeah, I am pretty excited, even if it is school related.
Notice that I said had been fine. At like 5 this afternoon, I get a call. From whom, you ask? Oh, just the Assistant Principal, the one giving me grief over cumulative folder pictures...yeah, I will let that go at some point. Any who, she calls to see if I would be interested in sitting in for some interviews for my new teammate. So yeah. Looks like with two weeks into break I am right back at school again. Figures. Get ready soon for my creative interviewing questions tailored for such a "special" occasion....
For those of you who are perplexed, that was just the sound of me celebrating my recent emancipation. Yessir (Yes sir stretched out) Isa (I am) free! I finally got my room packed and cleaned, tossed things out, mailed stuff back to FOSS, and got that damn goldenrod piece of crap all signed and delivered. The excess emails are all tossed (down to less than 20 from over 400) and I shot the duce (meaning peace out to those not hip) to teachers and staff. I already had my goodbye letter to my Principal, and she has already started "talking to me" about coming to her new school in the future in a non-visiting capacity, if you know what I mean. It would definitely be different, that is all I will say at the moment about that...
It is all so surreal. I looked at how sad my room looked without the posters up and things all shoved away, and it is crazy how I can still hear the conversations I had with my kids this year. I could still see Bill wandering around the room confused, and hear the PA system blaring as I attempt to teach something vital. I see the classroom phone flashing with missed calls, and picture myself rolling around in thrown about paperwork. I see KIS ignoring me day in and out, but coming in my room only to get things off of the printer in my room (we share printers, so she has to come to me to get her printouts...haha sucker!). Lots of laughs, cheers and tears alike. I am kinda sad to see the year end, even with all the drama that ensued. My kids were high needs academically, but in character they were super sweet and loving-I can't imagine what they will be like as 5th graders. We shared a bond because I had many of them twice. I can only imagine what my next group will be like. It is crazy in that most of 3rd grade wants to be in my room next year. Wonder what is going to happen with that?
I am not sure what I am going to do this summer. Aside from the work that I already have lined up, that is. Where are my stories for the blog going to come from? Perhaps I will replay events from the year that I didn't blog about like reruns on tv or something....
It is like a mad race to try to leave this school year with some sanity. I will say this-my kids are holding it together well. They haven't gone nuts and are actually being calm. The adults are the ones testing my wits right now and making me hang by a thread to the last bit of sanity I attempt to have. List of things agging (short for agitating) me at the moment:
1. The list of things I have to do to earn my freedom on that last day. I joke and call them my emancipation papers, stating that I have to go on a scavenger hunt to get them all signed before I can be a part of the free world again. That in itself is a list of annoyances.
2. Seeing a yellow Hummer parked outside our school everyday this week. First of all, it's a low SES school. Why are we rolling in a Hummer, but eating free or reduced lunch?
3. Administrators with short attitudes. Not all of them, just the one I had it out with today over a dumb cumulative folder picture....
4. Begging people to do things that they know good and well that they should do without my prompting. Again, referring to people well over the age of 10.
5. Being delegated jobs that shouldn't be mine to start off with, and then being told to fit other things in my schedule because it wouldn't kill me.
6. All the gossip about next year-the lack of clear answers.
7. KIS yet again beating my class to lunch. The comedic part was when the secretary asked why she managed to beat my class.
8. That damn list again. I am sorry, but now I hate goldenrod paper. And Cumulative Folder Pictures. Yeah.
9. Finding random pictures of myself on the school shared server that I didn't approve.
10. Packing.
11. School email-I am so over it.
12. Finding things that belonged in FOSS kits that I have long since turned in to the district. Yeah, it gets more and more awesome.
13. Running into former students at Target while in non-teacher mode and then trying to hide in the lawn care section. The crazy part is that I am transitioning my hair (meaning I am going from having it in a perm to a natural style) and that my boy saw me in one of my more natural styles, i.e. not one like I had in school 5 hours ago. It is a very different style from my school one, and only one friend has seen it on a regular basis. That boggled his mind. I will now have to go with my story about my sister. You know, the one I am going to sporadically make up.
I need to go turtle... I am trying to survive, but things keep popping up. I literally feel like I am barely hanging on.. But on the bright side, one of my new teammates brought me a UT t-shirt with an embroidered longhorn (that had bluebonnets in its mouth) as a token of friendship and welcome. We both graduated from UT, and will be teaching Texas History, so I appreciated the gift. We hugged and I almost teared up...or maybe it was that damn list making me tear. Sigh. I guess we will never know.
It's coming down to the wire. As we speak, there are approximately two days until school is out for the kids, and three for me. I have many mixed feelings as I approach the end. Usually there is the exhaustion, nostalgic moment, relief, and reflection for the next year. Right now, I have the desire to bury this year under the carpet or rather in the cluttered closet like that of a kid when she's told to clean her room...
I am not saying the year was a bust. I had many leadership opportunities. I even got nominated to be Teacher of the Year at my school, and have gotten different accolades around the district. Plus I got to teach Bill. I actually felt like this was a good year and that my students were learning more (and that I was teaching better) until I got their standardized test scores back. Let's just say that not all of them were what I was hoping for. My colleagues tried cheering me up, saying that they know I worked hard with this group, and we discussed what I did with them this year and also what I could do next year. One of the coaches told me that this was a challenging group academically and that they had been that way for years, not just with me. I know this also because I had many of them in 2nd grade as well. At any rate, I had been waiting to get a lecture or my teaching certificate burned in some sacred ritual where the superintendent sacrifices my lanyard, three apples, my favorite border, and a bucket of base ten blocks into an inferno as my students hold their heads in shame. None of this happened. The Principal hasn't treated me any differently. In fact, she treats me just the same as she did when almost all my kids last year passed the state tests (I only had a couple fail last year).
At any rate, I hate the feeling of failure. It makes me think of that episode of the Simpsons where Homer is in the tub, scrubbing himself as he shutters "Unclean, unclean..." I know I did my best. I watched as my students all for the most part, made large gains in their benchmarks over the course of the year. I compared their growth to that of my previous class, and this year's kids made significantly more. I think,why did this happen? Well, one is that they had more room to grow from the start(my current group)-BOY assessments were scary. The kids last year started out higher. If I could sum up my feelings, it would be that I wish I knew last year what I know now. My kids then would have done even better and then I'd have time to learn more for this group. My teacher confidence went up this year, and then this knocked it lower that it was before. Yeah. I guess I gotta grow.
My goals were pretty clear, but now this has made them a little foggy. I guess I am just ready to put a fork in this for now and try again next year...
We have all heard the saying that a picture is worth a thousand words. As much as I talk about the "specialness" of my school, I think that you need to have a more vivid visualization of what exactly I am working with on a day to day basis.
Most of the day was pretty typical. After Memorial Day off, I was still exhausted this morning, Bill informs me that Stephen F. Austin is buried in Bull Creek (a local creek in Austin, Texas), and KIS still gives me the silent treatment after scheduling a field trip for only her class and not the rest of fourth grade. I asked her how the field trip was (oh, yeah I know, I suck) and you'd think she'd have some shame or embarrassment about being caught. Oh wait, she doesn't care. In her room, team is the four-lettered dirty word.
At any rate, I digress. The highlight by far today (and by highlight, I mean the most chaotic and unorganized moment) was the staff picture. Let me give some insight of this yearly tradition to those not fortunate enough to have this experience. We teacher and staff people all line up by height on the corny bleachers that the kids stand on for their pictures. We take serious pictures and silly ones. Let me relay the events of past picture days. My first year teaching, staff picture day was on the last working day for the teachers (kids had that day off). The next year, it was on the last day of school, in the middle of the day, in the gym. It was super awesome because our classes had to all scrunch into the gym while we gave glares from the podiums. In other words, utter chaos.
With this in mind, imagine what happened this year. Let me bring you into my world. For starters, we are all told to come to work earlier this morning so that we could take the picture before school starts. I should have seen that as a red flag to start out with because anything that makes too much sense, well, we seem to stray away from that. Of course, as I get to school, I notice 2 things: 1) many people are still not at work anyways and 2) there are no bleachers set up for the picture. Actually I guessed I also noticed other vital things missing-like the camera, photographer, yeah, all those necessary things..
After deciding that the picture probably isn't happening, I take my class to my classroom and we begin the day. Bill tells his story about discovering Stephen F. Austin's grave in the creek (and the turtling begins) and we are interrupted by the announcements:
Assistant Principal: Teachers and Staff, the photographer couldn't make it, so we will take the pictures later on today. We will call you back when we figure it out......
Of course, that made my lesson more interesting: Teacher, what pictures?
And the day rolls on. At the most optimal point in the day-at 2:20ish I hear the following announcement:
Assistant Principal: Teachers, the photographers are here. Please have your kids pack their bags and report to the gym.
Me: Alright class, get your things. We are taking a little field trip..
Kids: Field trip? Where are we going? I hope it is the Main Event! (Main Event is a Chuckie Cheese type place where the kids play games, eat food, bowl, do laser tag, etc.)
Ok, I am sure that some of you may have a hard time finding fault in any of this. Let me help you a little bit. Here is a little background knowledge to help you digest the situation
1) School ends at 2:45 everyday.
2) Our school is small-a little over 400 PK-5 kids, but there is a whole lotta special to go around, which is another blog in itself.
3) All of these kids are crammed into the gym with backpacks full of stuff to get into.
4) Even though the teachers are right there, they can't really reprimand any kids because they are so out of reach.
This may have still been okay had we only come in and taken the picture and left. Again, a plan is too reasonable. Let's talk about what really happened...
2:20 -Classes start filing in gym
2:30-Photographer starts setting up equipment, more classes come in
2:35-I take popcorn seeds from Bill, and even more kids come in
2:38-Photographer looks flustered at the noise level, teachers look disgusted with the entire prospect of being pictured at the end of the day when we all look like crap. No one knows where the Principal is.
2:41 Photographer starts lining us up by height, a roar swells in the crowd.
2:43 Random Pre-K student wanders into the photograph.
2:45 All the staff is located and posed. The bell rings and then students attempt to charge out of the gym. One teacher starts releasing the 3rd-5th grade kids, while the principal at the same time tries to do the exact opposite. Still no picture has been taken.
2:47 Annoyed parents come and start snatching out their kids (or siblings left from the stampede); one picture has been taken. Principal tries to address parents and mob.
3:00 Finally all the pictures have been taken.
See how it took almost half an hour to do something that should have taken like 10 minutes max? Instead of waiting until after kids were dismissed, we waste all that time, only to really get to the pictures after they are gone. All I could do was shake my head, and one teacher told me that my face said it all.
After all of this, I am in need of a stiff drink or three. Being that it is my first day back after break (and I have approximately a week of school left) I will try to refrain from the hard drinking (gotta make it till at least Thursday before it is acceptable). Instead I will play Grand Theft Auto IV, because somehow running from fictional police and evading the mob is less stressful and taxing on my brain than understanding the comings and goings of my school...
As the year is coming to a close, I find myself thinking. Everyone seems to be going on their own paths. Some are going to other schools. Others are staying, but changing positions or grade levels. Then there are others leaving the district or going back to grad school. I even found out that our principal (who is actually leaving to be a Principal at an All-Girls Middle School, by the way) just got accepted to Harvard. I won't lie, my school doesn't seem to have the highest retention rate of teachers. In fact, I was looking at a staff photo from my first year at my school, and was amazed with how many of those teachers are now gone.
I guess it is safe to say that my school isn't an easy place to teach. I don't hate my job, but it really isn't the ideal place to begin a career, or at least that is what I have been told by other teachers. I don't regret it though, because I feel that there are things that I have learned and I feel this is where I am supposed to be at the minute.
What makes my school a challenge? Well, where do I start? Aside from the teachers leaving all the time (there are some grade levels that seem to have changed completely year to year), our school serves a high needs area. We are on the east side of town, right at the divide in town where minorities are living on one side of the highway and the Caucasian families live on the other line. Also, it is a low SES school. The kids have so many various needs, as do all kids, but many live lives that seem so wrong for an elementary kid to have to deal with day to day. I am black, and I grew up poor. There were gangs in my neighborhood and drugs as well. I didn't grow up with both of my parents. I was the first to go to college and graduate. Even with this, I still am blown away by the things that my kids bring with them to school daily. I don't get to just teach. I am making sure kids eat breakfast in the morning. I am taking care of kids who are sick and should be at home, but come to school anyway so that they can get lunch and breakfast (plus mom can't miss work to stay with them). I am counseling kids that are angry, being mistreated by the adults that violate their trust, children who are abused or neglected (both emotionally and physically). I am buying backpacks for Bill, teaching Hoyt to manage his anger, helping Ester Marie overcome her fears associated with a tragic incident she had (and making sure she eats because she has already had issues with food and body image), while also trying to meet kids with all sorts of academic issues.
When I go to trainings around the district, people always wonder how I can teach at my school. Yes, there are challenges, to put it lightly. But there is also more. While there are moments that are challenging, like seeing a volatile child loose it over a kid bumping his chair into hers, another running away from school, some parents who won't take interest in how their kid is doing, or just feeling like a total failure with a kid that you felt like you didn't reach (no matter how hard you try), there are also moments which give me energy to keep moving. For some crazy reason, the kids seem to love me. Sounds conceited, right? No, I actually mean it. I am not quite sure why. I don't know if it is because I look like them (in my life background and also the fact that I am on the small side and am known to sport Air Jordans to work from time to time). Maybe it is because I spend time with them and take an interest in their lives. Or it could be that even though I have to discipline them, I also try to help them realize that it is all for their own good and that I am trying to make things better for them. Maybe it is cause I bring snacks and rap (and dance) at assemblies. I really don't know.
Whatever the reason, the response is crazy. I have had kids who lie and tell people they are in my class. I have had kids sneak into my line, and sneak into my classroom, trying to be really quiet so that they don't have to leave. The kids in 5th grade hound me everyday without fail, and if the sub doesn't show up for them one day, they all want to be in my classroom that day. 3rd graders are already trying to get a spot in my class, to the point where they bring their parents to me, saying "this is the teacher I want for next year.." At track and field, when a teacher announced my presence to the kids, the kids all picked me up and had me body surfing the crowd! They treat me like a rock star. I can't go anywhere in the school without kids shouting out my name or grabbing on to my legs.
I feel loved. For the most part, administration seems to trust me, and regard me at least competent enough to handle all the challenges (even though I don't always feel well prepared). But sometimes I still wonder. I know that all schools have their issues, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like not to have some of the issues I deal with. Like I'd like to be on a team that stays the same for more than 2 years. I'd like to have a more leveled classroom, where I don't have so many kids who are given to me because KIS won't deal with them (See Tracking blog for more info). As much as I love the kids, could I have a group that is a little easier? My kids last year made me act as a cop, but they were very smart. The group I have now I also had two years ago. In both years with this group, they were compliant, but very high needs academically. To have actual phone numbers from parents that work, more time to collaborate and plan, and basically just the feeling that I am in the optimal spot to grow into this master teacher I long to be for my kids. Is there such a place? Maybe I just need to relax this summer, and I will be ready to face the new year with vim and vigor..
How is it that teachers get such a bad rap? I am the queen of randomness, but with my madness there is reason. I was surfing the web today, reading about the pearls (or maybe more appropriately, the perils) of NCLB, and I am amazed at some of the responses that parents gave to NCLB. I guess I have to realize that perspectives are always different. Whose fault is it that kids fall through the cracks? That's right, my friends! Us incompetent, good for nothing, lounging around the pool at summer with our margaritas, teacher folks!
There is the saying that a bad apple can ruin the whole bunch. I suppose that is true for us teacher people. Sure, I won't lie, there are people who should have their teaching certificate revoked and burned to ashes. There are people who speak horribly to the kids (or maybe just all mankind for that matter. Ones that don't know their content, are unwilling to grow, or maybe just downright arrogant know it alls who could give a damn about what anyone thinks about what they do. Ones who won't collaborate, and others who are there for the awesome $40,000 a year.
Are we ready for the reality check? Yes, I think we are....*approaches soap box and positions self after taking a deep breath.*
Teacher Myth #1-Teachers don't want parents involved in their kid's education.
Real Deal: I would love it if more of my parents could do more with their kids. Some of mine do lots with them. If anything, I think parents are the most important teachers that a kid can have. Please read with your children. Take them places (like libraries, museums, etc.) so they can have experiences to connect to learning. Include them in everyday tasks, like cooking and going to the store so they can learn that a measuring cup is used to measure volume and capacity, and that it is not reasonable for three boxes of cereal at $2.39 a box to cost less than 5 bucks. Be active, but don't stalk me. Don't call me 5 times a day to make sure Pookie is breathing. Don't always assume that we are out to get your child if we say one negative thing about your child. On the other extreme, don't make me have to hunt you down with the SWAT team for parent conferences, but show up for Track and Field. I am just saying. Let's keep it real. Kids are kids, and sometimes they do things, both good and bad. I tell you the good things, but accept that your angel darling pie is also capable of getting into some mischief while you are not calling those 5 times a day. Yeah.
Teacher Myth #2-Teachers want to cover more and more content at a quicker pace rather than teach a few things well.
Real Deal: Each state has its own standards for what a teacher is supposed to teach at each grade level. Contrary to popular belief, teachers don't just get to go all willy nilly and teach whatever tickles them pink. The idea is that each year gets harder because the content of the material consists of things from the previous year and makes it a little harder while also adding new concepts. So before people-like parents, politicians, and the like start burning crosses in our classes and throwing rocks at our windows, let's take a moment and think (hey, you aren;t supposed to think at school!) . NCLB requires that students pass test aligned to state standards. Stop getting angry at us teachers because Jimbo has to learn more than you did when you were in school. I am sorry. Is it my decision that he be required to learn so much in one grade? No, I am mandated by state standards. That is why they are called standards-it is a common ground for all students-a minimum.
What implications do those standards have for the struggling and the advanced? Well, if you are advanced it doesn't matter because we are only concerned that you can do 5 million basic things rather than just 5 things in great depth. If you struggle, well, I am going to give you face time more than anyone else practically cause you demand it, but you will keep on struggling year after year unless you finally catch up. But the beauty of NCLB is that once you catch up or go beyond, no one cares what you do, so you have to bomb out before you can get attention.
Is this what I want as a teacher? No, but unfortunately, it becomes the reality in some cases. There were times I felt like I didn't do enough with Mel or Petey cause I had to lasso down Bill to help him understand one math problem at a time. It is a system. I have observed priority being placed on what are we going to do to catch the ones falling behind. There is little effort focused on the ones doing just "ok" or the ones above and beyond. What does a teacher do when she has between 14-22 kids all looking at her at once and have 15 different needs at the same moment? A doctor treats one patient at a time. Good teachers use that same precision with at least ten times that many patients at once all day every day at any given moment. Every lesson I consider what every kid is doing and what they need to be successful in that moment. Teachers don't want kids to fail. I personally want to be Wonder Woman, and I want to save them all. Sometimes there are a lot of hazards that I think the outside world doesn't see...
Teacher Myth #3-Teachers are people who can't do other things/not knowledgeable/are babysitters/I have kids and I'd make a better teacher/etc.....
Real Deal: Many teachers are among the talented people that I know! In elementary, it isn't enough to be good at say, just reading or math. If you are like me, you teach every content area (except specials) which means you better be smarter than a 5th grader to get those kids to learn! Even in one content area, like math, you have to understand many types-geometry, algebra, probability and statistics, measurement, basic computation, and just plain logic. Not only that, but you have to know both the content and how kids learn it. Just because you were in 6th grade once doesn't mean you can teach it. You don't see people saying "Oh, I treated a cold, I could be a doctor.." Why do some people seem to think that teaching is so damn easy? I challenge those people to spend one day in my classroom, perhaps even on a good day. Let's see how long it takes before paperwork stacks up, administration asks you to do something with no explanation, three new kids show up, Bill barfs on your shoes, and then, oh yeah, you still have to make sure all your kids learn not just one thing, but many things. Many of those new things also require that they learned something about it the previous year, and yeah, none of them got that key idea that will make all the learning go down smoothly.
Teacher Myth #4 Paid summers and Margaritas by the pool! A cool 40 G's for nothing!
Real Deal: I have not had a free summer EVER while teaching. In fact, the summer before my first year teaching, I spent student teaching in an ESL classroom after just graduating college and student teaching with my last semester. I always get suckered into working on things for school-like review materials or planning curriculum. Either that or I get sent somewhere for conferences and PD. So contrary to popular belief, I will not be tanning by the pool in 2 weeks with a cool alcoholic beverage. Not even remotely close. My district wanted to have me doing summer school, so I would be doing that, only I have to get ready to go to an academy instead for NSTA (National Science Teachers Association for those not in the know) because I was chosen to go. Don't even get me started on money! I am looking for a sugar daddy. I am tired of "finding" things for the kids and "borrowing." I will be paying off my Bachelor's degree till the cows come home, and I will go into the red financially if I go for my Masters out of pocket. The only way financially that my Masters would be worth anything is if I leave the classroom. That is pretty sad. With that said, I guess I'd better rule out another teacher as a potential mate, cause then I'll be eating beans for the rest of my life while we both keep paying off degrees. And a correction-we don't get paid for regular clock work for the summer. During the 9 months or so that we teach, we have so many duty days and hours. That is where our salary comes from. That salary is then paid in 12 month installments. So yeah. The only extra money in summer (Ha! I dare you to find it!) comes from the aforementioned additional activities that I am annually suckered into.
And here is where I will stop for now. Perhaps some other day I will continue to dispel other myths such as the one that states that all teachers are really androids void of emotion, failing kids is fun, and we all leave as soon as the dismissal bell rings (my kids don't even leave everyday at exactly dismissal, so how can I high tail it?). *Drags soap box in a corner and walks away with some sense of satisfaction..*
A teammate and I are doing a project in math where our classes are working together to find the math around the school. It is actually a pretty neat project, and the kids seem to be enjoying working on it. In the theme of it, I decided to make up story problems reflecting the "math" in my teacher world...
1. (Thanks, Ms. T, for supplying this one! Your students-my future 312 residents-are always an inspiration!)
A third grader received money for track and field day. She gave 10 of those dollars to one boy in the class that she has a crush on. She then gives Lucky Charm, another kid in the class, $5.00 for his overdue library books. She buys ice cream for four friends at lunch, and each ice cream costs $0.65. She also gave a dollar to a kid in another 3rd grade class, but the kid spent the money before she could ask for it back. She gave another dollar to the resident bad boy as protection money. She has 40 cents left and is very upset. How much time do you think elapsed before her mom realized she gave her 20 dollars instead of a buck?
2. Every time it rains, Shirley has difficulty coming to school, often times not coming at all. This morning, there was a monsoon, and still 93% of my class arrived to school. It was then sunny all of the rest of the day, so hot that the rain puddles began to evaporate by noontime. What is the probability that Shirley will come in tomorrow with a note citing "rain" as an excuse for absence?
3. 8 out of 12 students met my expectations for one of my learning objectives. I needed at least 75% of my class to meet it to get $1,500. By how many kids did I miss my goal? (and no, it wasn't because of Bill-he actually did well on both of his tests-way to go! All of my kids showed good growth-even the ones who didn't meet goal, but that didn't matter.)
4. KIS is scheduled to take her class to lunch at 11:15 and pick them up in 30 minutes. If she decides to go at 11:05 instead and picks them up at 11:45 instead, how long has she now extended her lunch? How many other teachers do you think she annoys as a result? How many reprimands do you think she gets?
5. While making copies on the "new" copier in the lounge, my paper kept mis feeding in the bypass tray at the top. What sort of angle does the creased paper make?
6. Our beloved principal made countless demands for us to schedule our conferences about our objectives. She reminded us every morning, in email, at all our meetings. I schedule my appointment begrudgingly. I rush the kids to finish, am thorough in grading and fight with the copier to prepare things for the meeting. I arrive five minutes before my appointment time. I wait 15 minutes until someone informs me that she has left campus and gone to lunch. This is all scheduled during my conference period and on the school calender. At what point in the day do you think I was asked to come in to do my conference?
a) reschedule for another day
b) afterschool
c) halfway during my conference/planning
d) the moment my conference period is over and my kids are all waiting for me to take them to recess...
How much of my conference/planning did I actually get to use if I have 45 minutes total?
Yeah, yeah yeah...and that was all from the last two days. Imagine how much math there is every day.
Yeah, so it has been one of those sorts of days. Which of the following scenarios would describe an ideal Friday for you?
a) All students work diligently and complete all tasks with a smile.
b) Administration provides breakfast snacks and lunch for all teachers with no strings attached or questions asked.
c) At the end of the day, everything is cleaned up and put away.
d) Utter chaos and pandemonium break out and you still manage to escape with all your wits in tact.
How about secret option e), which is false. Or orange. Maybe even the Runaway Scrape if my class has anything to do with the choices.
I always love sharing good times, and so I will let the good times roll starting right....now. Ok, that was enough time for you to prepare and brace yourself for the excitement that will shortly ensue. I start off the day only to discover that there are muffins in the teacher's lounge! And juice! Yeah for food! I think that things can only get better.
As I take my troops to 312, I find out that there is a social studies benchmark that they have to take (damn these assessments!). It isn't enough that I am trying to complete my own assessments for an incentive pay program. I am surprised that my kids didn't gang up and slit my tires.
Don't even get me started on my assessments. It is as if my students suddenly opened their little heads and let their brains run free. Uh, yeah. It is amazing that we have done the same sorts of things over and over all year long, and suddenly we have become lost and bewildered; helpless and hopeless, oh so woe begotten. I cry to myself and wonder where I led the dear ones astray. Sigh. I didn't need the extra money from the incentive pay. I use $100 bills for toilet paper anyway.
In the mix of all this specialness, I am tossing things at random all over my room as I attempt to clean up while the kids are testing. I consider rolling around in all the paper and supplies. At that moment, I hear a knock at the door and guess what is on the other side? If you said a new student, ding ding ding, we have a winner! A new kid with like 3 weeks of school left. I am greeting Mom and my room looks like it has been hit with a bomb. Awesomeness...
New student means kids lose focus on the assessments, and pretty much morning is shot. Of course, Bill introduces himself as the most special person in the class, and all the kids agree. I need a hug and start hugging myself, only for the art teacher to inform me later that that is called turtling. Yeah, so rock on with the turtling awesomeness that will become my entire day.
There is lunch. KIS is absent, so I get to go on time...yeah! But then sub doesn't pick up kids in time (boo!) so my other teammate and I wind up taking the kids from the other group and picking up others at random places of the school. Way to go! And the art teacher complains-I mean shares suggestions about collaboration -about KIS, and I have to let her know that KIS acts the same way with everyone. She'd probably treat a convicted criminal and Ghandi with the same stank attitude she treats us with at work-kids included. I think her personality needs a bath because it stinks.
Afternoon comes around, and my kids are still testing. I find myself looking forward to next Thursday, when all of this will be over. That is sad. I feel like I have accomplished absolutely nothing, my room still looks like it got hit by some natural disaster, and Bill has now thrown up on my floor and on books. I send him to the nurse, and what do you think happened?
a) Nurse takes temperature and sends him home.
b) Nurse asks for a slip even though he still reeks of barf.
c) Bill returns to room and stays for rest of the day.
d) Eggs?
Yeah, so Bill is on my floor, laying down and ripping his shirt. He came in with a t-shirt, left with a halter top. Yeah. As I am marveling at the wonders of this, administration bum rushes me with cameras to take pictures of me for their recruitment shpell. They then proceeded to ask me about all my accomplishments this year. I think of my feeling of failure with the assessments and asked to do it later because I wasn't in the best mood, but they insisted it couldn't wait. Then I get a call from another principal at another school asking me to teach 5th grade at summer school. Here is a snippet of the conversation for your listening pleasure:
Me: Hello, how may I help you?
Other Principal Lady: Hello, I was calling to see if you are interested in teaching summer school.
Me: (watching Bill spin in circles on my carpet) What?
Other Principal Lady: You know, teach summer school. To teach 5th grade math....
Me: What?
OPL: Your principal recommended you. Plus we think it will be good for the kids to see familiar faces.
Me: (mouthing silently) What?
OPL: I need to know by this weekend. Here is my cell. Call me and let me know.
Me: What? Uh, Ok.....
Yeah, I sound kind of like Lil' Jon, the rapper in this exchange. I pretty much just say what and ok. It doesn't even matter that I am already participating in a math/science academy that I was chosen to be in (only 10 teachers in our entire district got chosen and I was one) or that I have been asked to help with the math curriculum on both a district and campus level. All of these events happen in the summer, mind you, when people rest and drink margaritas. I would like to plan things with my new teammates (cause yeah, they are like shoes, I get at least a new pair every year).
I become the wicked witch of the west, and my poor kids get the brunt of it. The peace of mind they have is in thinking Beyonce is going to roll by our classroom on a flatbed with a smoke machine (I wonder where they got that crazy idea....*shifts eyes back and forth*). I gotta find a flatbed and a wig...any takers?
I am sure your day was swell, and perhaps things couldn't get more perfect. Your students were beyond brilliant-they were inspired. The adults around you made intelligent choices and the administrative team was the intregal cog that kept your school day flowing smoothly. Yeah, yeah, hip hip hurray for you.
If you weren't as fortunate as I was, being that this is my reality every single waking day, let me bring a little cheer in this season of giving. The season of giving standardized test after test, the kind of giving you do until it hurts. I will let you decide what my lesson or moral of today's saga shall be on your own...make your own inferences and generalizations...
Well, I guess it is Wednesday. I can never be quite sure as the middle of the week gets all jumbled with me-could be anywhere between Tuesday and Thursday. We all know the only days that really matter are Monday and Friday anyways, and even then, for opposite reasons.
At any rate, whatever day it is, one thing was certain--I was in for another long day of standardized testing. Yesterday it was math, today it was reading. I could barely contain myself. I was so excited, that at morning assembly this morning, I decided to share my glee with a nearby 3rd grader. Too bad they are too young to fully appreciate sarcasm. One of my students turned to the 3rd grade kid, who was suckered into my story, and announced that I was being sarcastic, and that I really meant the opposite of what I was saying. That's right, ladies and gents. Enroll your kiddos in room 312 so that they can take full advantage of Sarcasm 101. Come in dim, leave my room sassy and sophisticated and learned (learn-ed!).
It can only go uphill from here. After getting into all the chills and thrills of testing, all I can do is pace. When all you can do is circle your room and stare down your children, your mind has time to wander to all sorts of special places. I started noticing things about my room I had never noticed before. What are all these pipes on the ceiling for? What does that cable connect to? I didn't know my shelf at one time had cabinet doors, but I notice them, stacked on top of my teacher closet. In my head, I am organizing the kids into groups for spring cleaning of the classroom. At the same time, I am trying to will Larry into focusing on his test with my thought waves.
I feel sort of like I am in a hospital. I am pacing with anxiety, and only authorized personnel can enter the rooms. Parents can't even come in. Neither can the custodians. I am wondering to myself what happens if a kid just barfs all over the room, who has to clean it up? I step out for breaks, and primary teachers try to cheer me on and prop me up while I wonder about the enigma that is KIS. I know, that was random, but pacing makes you think random things.
Speaking of KIS, this would be a great time to tell you all more about her, being that I am all about the cheer, and KIS is obviously brimming with it. KIS stands for Keep It Simple, a phrase she uses way too much, and my teammates and I refer to her as KIS. At any rate, I am the anti-KIS. Let me paint a picture. Please don't get offended. I am sure you all know someone like this at your school.
KIS is like a million years old. Well, maybe not that old, but she is old enough to be my mother. Let me fix that. There is nothing wrong with aging-we all do it-but she is so....."vibrant" that I thought she was much older than she really is. Actually, she's younger than my mom, but I guess life has been rough on her. At any rate, she has been teaching in the same room for as long as I have been alive. AS LONG AS I HAVE BEEN ALIVE! I don't mean teaching for that long, I literally mean teaching in the same d**n room. Papers on the wall are all faded, cause it is the same song and dance year after year. She hoards materials and doesn't share, she has chains and locks on her cabinets in her classroom (her cabinet doors are still intact, by the way). She may speak, but most of the time she won't. Any attempt at communication from her I consider a miracle. She's like that old uncle that stays in his room and everyone is surprised when he comes out and talks. Forget collaboration! I can barely get her to acknowledge that I exist. Her poor kids are so starved for interaction. They don't seem to know how to act with the rest of 4th grade, being that they get so isolated. My kids are always doing things with the other 4th grade class, so the rest of 4th grade is close knit. It is 4th grade...and then KIS. She once saved her teacher self report to the school shared server and no one could change the template because of her. Administration lets her get away with murder because, well, I am not really sure. You just don't cross her. Don't you just love her already?
Well, of course, she decided to take her kids to lunch before my class again today. For that matter, she even beat my other teammate, who actually is scheduled to go to lunch first. And to continue in the theme of giving, I guess her boys gave the lunch monitors a hard time, because as I sat in the teacher's lounge, eating my lunch (2 things I rarely do-a) sit in the teacher's lounge and b) sit down to eat my lunch during my actual lunch period as opposed to while I am planning) they all got escorted out of the cafeteria. She is something else. And then her kids are rude to the other 4th grade kids in the bilingual class, and what does she do? Yeah. I guess I shouldn't raise my expectations...
Feeling warm and fuzzy yet? Well, let me warm your soul some more. Well, during a break, I discover that 4th grade is scheduled to give an end of the year benchmark in science tomorrow. I think that is brilliant. We have tested back to back Tuesday and Wednesday, why not test the kids again on Thursday just for the hell of it? Administration won't budge on the issue, no matter how much I beg. I feel like hitting myself in the head with a brick. I then realize it is payday, and the embers in my crushed soul ignite with hope again. I then open my check and a small part of me cries inside. I look at Bill day in and out for THIS? It is a good thing I love the children, seriously. Between the awesome adults and NCLB, I seriously considered getting into my car and just driving away this afternoon. I could picture it all: I get into my car, turn on the tape deck (I don't even have a tape deck) and that 80's synth pop music fade on. I put on a pair of dark glasses, light a cigarette (again, I don't even smoke) and sinisterly gaze into my rear view mirror. I peel out of the teacher's parking lot and drive off into the sunset (yeah, I know at that point it was like high noon and the sun was far from setting, but work with me here). By now the music is in full blast, and I have tossed the cigarette butt out the window (so much for Don't Mess With Texas). The credits start rolling and I am driving so fast that my car is now taking flight off the ground, the wheels have folded underneath , and I am still driving on... I wonder what kind of testing error/irregularity that would have been?
I am now convinced that your heart is touched, and that I can move you no more for the time being. I did make it to 3:30, and I went out and bought Grand Theft Auto IV. I am now about to serve up some serious punishment for this whole day electronically.
(BTW, I had an actual orange today and one of my kids hid it briefly)
Well, it looks like I’ve been tagged for a meme...cool beans. I always like doing survey type things...
The Rules
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.
1. What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was in the classroom, but on the other side of the desk. I was in high school I suppose, with no real intention to teach at the time. I think