Ha,ha--you're reading this!

A Numbers Game-More Food For Thought....

cfc@room312 — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 00:26:00 GMT

I am a dreamer. I am a visionary. That means I see things-I notice patterns and get joy out of putting it all together. That is just how I am wired. My mother told me that as a child, I would get extremely upset with disorder and that I was always trying to clean things up. I guess that makes for a somewhat anal retentive adult. It isn't that I am looking for flaws really. It is just that I enjoy even more looking for solutions.

Maybe that is why I like math-both doing and teaching it. It is a thinking game. Not really about finding what is wrong. You don't even really have to be super smart to get math. All you have to really be able to do is reason and see logic. I tell my kids all the time, that I am not interested mostly in the answer. I am more interested in the "how" we got to that answer. I want to know more about that path that they are taking to get there.

Do you ever have all the answers when solving math problems? Rarely. I always ask my kids to start with what they do know to help them figure out the things that they aren't sure about.

This is how I think. I see things-not because I am out with that big red pen, circling all the errors of life. I don't even grade with a red pen because I hate that. Oh, yeah, this is all wrong, let me mark up your paper. That sucks. I try to do very little "slashing." I mostly ask questions instead. That I feel is more helpful than just putting a flaming red X.

That is what I do when I rant. I ask a lot of questions. I am not out with a red pen on some mad witch hunt. That is counter-productive and tiring. What I do see are systems, and I simply have questions. How can we be more effective? How can I be more effective? What is a win-win for everybody? I listen more than it may appear. I listen to the 5th grade teachers because I want to help make their job easier with my kids when they get them. I hear what their needs are, and I am able to focus my teaching around my weaknesses. It is a growing game. At the same time, I talk to 3rd because my kids were their babies at one time. They should be invested as well. I went to a 3rd grade teacher today and thanked him for doing such an awesome job teaching his kids parts of speech. It will work wonders with writing. I really appreciate it, and I also appreciate the communication about the kids.

NCLB. I think of the push with standardized testing. I am not anti-testing. I understand the need for a standard. Here is my problem. I find it problematic when we ignore kids who struggle in Kinder-2nd and then get involved in the magic 3rd grade. We then ignore them in 4th and care again when they get to 5th. Is this the coaches' fault? No, they are working as they are told to. A coach admitted to me that she was told to leave us alone because 3rd and 5th had more kids. So really, is the coach to blame? No. So then is the principal to blame? Not really, cause she is trying to meet some numbers. That is what it really boils down to-a numbers game. Do we care that a student who achieved at a 25% at the start of the year has been pulled up a 69% ? Do we care that this child has struggled from year to year, and is finally starting to make large gains? We do, we being the people who work with the struggling student. But if that child doesn't make it on that magic testing day, it is all for lost. Even if that child misses by one question. What is the solution? I am no rocket scientist, but if a kid is struggling in Kinder, why leave him hanging? I don't know how many primary teachers I have heard from time to time getting ditched for support because the push is on a testing grade. Again, not passing blame, but does this really make sense? Those primaries are the base. If the foundation isn't stable, then the whole house caves in. But what do you do? This is where I get antsy, and I say things. How do we recognize the child's true gains? I have had kids who passed, but their growth overall was minimal. At the same time, I have had kids who really come a long ways and shown more numerical growth than that passing child, but still fall short. As a teacher, I feel like I have short changed them both. I feel I could have pushed the student who passed further along. I wonder what extra thing I could have done for that one who fell short, but hung in there the whole way. What are the answers? I get lost in the how. It is frustrating, it drives me crazy, and makes me step on a few toes from time to time, but I am intrigued in the "getting there" as much as I am the actual "solution" itself. Those numbers are my kids. I feel like if I can get them to trust me to help them, and if I can get them to try, I need to try a little harder too. That means learning more about my craft, but it also means being a pain if I have to in order to get things and services for them. They are the motivation for my rant. I can't leave and I won't walk away.

Things to Digest

cfc@room312 — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 22:44:00 GMT

Redirection. Reflection. That has been the theme lately. No, I am not talking about my class. I mean with myself, my cause, my purpose.

Yes, the blog is biased-I write it. I love myself. But, contrary to some opinion, I see that I have issues. There are things I wish to be and I struggle with who I am. I also succeed with who I am, so it's a double edged sword. Do we really want the laundry list? Okay, here are a few of the pros and cons of my being:

I will start with the cons:

1. I could be more subtle. Maybe subtle isn't the word. I am pretty forthright, blunt and honest to a fault, and sometimes my comments are harsh. Sorry, I don't like skipping around the daisies. I say what I mean and mean what I say. I don't mean to say mean things though.

2. I am hard to get close to. I don't do well with lukewarms or in betweens. I pretty much either love you or I just don't. Won't say hate, cause that is pretty strong. It is extremely hard to lose my heart, but it is also a little difficult to capture it.

3. I am moody. I admit to it. I get annoyed with myself at times, and will remove myself from others if I am crabby. I give myself "time outs." I need them.

4. I am critical. Yep, I know it seems like everyone else is my target, but I am equally critical, if not more so, of myself. That could be sort of arrogant, because I am no better than anyone else. Count that as a flaw if you must.

5. I think of myself. No, the world doesn't revolve around me. But I do realize that I can speak on what I believe truthfully. I can only guess at what others think with some certainty. Rather than talk in possible thoughts, it is easier for me to talk on what I know.

And you know, I could just keep on going. I have issues in life. We all do. I need to grow up and get over myself. So do we all. I hope we get that.

I bet you are expecting me to now start tooting my horn and tell you how awesome I am. Actually, not going to do that. Many people who know me seem to think I am pretty awesome. Some also think I suck. Both camps are right. I am not here to change your opinion or bring you to one side. You are more than capable of thinking on your own.

I do, however, feel the need to refocus my writing. I just start typing. I think like my kids-I will put what is on my mind down first, and then I will fix it later. Blogging is a chance for me to be reflective. It is therapeutic. I let go of my frustrations here, rather than on the kids, or even with the adults at work. It helps me pick my spots. It may sound as if I am constantly in turmoil, but actually I am not. I goof with my colleagues. I play pranks on them, but I also help them with things. They help me. They give me advice, give me direction when I need it, and just a smile from time to time. We are family, in many ways. Just like you fight with your siblings, we have our sibling rivalry from time to time. I am not all at fault as they aren't either. We are all people. I have my faults, they have strengths, and vise versa, but in the end, it all works out.

Those that read often, hear about KIS and administration. Honestly, there are things about both that frustrate me from time to time. I also know that I bug KIS. Administration must be okay with me, because even with the rants, I have always gotten positive remarks on my job performance. I get the extra responsibilities because they trust me. Also, the "rants" are not just moans and groans. They are for change-not for my sake. Not to make room 312 easier. Nope, not even close. Really, it is ultimately for the kids. I rant about things like this: More tutoring for my Bills. More meeting with the coaches so that we can grow as teachers and teach our kids better. I rant about needing more time to collaborate with teammates because we all have different skills and could benefit from having the space to really share those talents in a real way. Yes, I also mean KIS. I get the feeling from her that she is tired of being ignored, but in someways has given up trying to be heard. She speaks of the politics of the job. The only difference between us in that is that I am too stupid to just sit down and be quiet. She has seen things come and go, and often speaks of the happenings at our school as "a phase" or that things are the way they are because "that's just the way it is." All the things I have mentioned in terms of rants, she has also at some point expressed disgust with.

And being the ranter, at some point, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. It isn't perfect, but from time to time I do get some of those things ranted for. Not because I am awesome. It is called putting bugs in ears. If no one will say it, it won't ever change. I am just one person who will. Others talk too, and so things start to happen.

It isn't a blame game, and I need to refocus myself, because I feel like that is what it has become. I am not anti-KIS. I am frustrated at the bigger problem-I want a team. The team keeps changing, and KIS is actually the only constant there. No, she isn't the reason the others left-nor was I. They all had their own personal reasons, each of which I respect. I actually still keep in contact with all my old teammates. I am not sure how KIS feels about that. But this is what my thoughts are about that-I could be totally wrong. She has been in the same place for quite some time, which I respect. I respect this because as much as I like my kids, it is not the easiest place to teach. There are many reasons, that I won't go into here. Nonetheless, KIS has stuck it out. Seriously. And she does it well. Her kids learn. But I know that in that time, she has seen a lot-changes in administration time and time again. All the fads that come and go with those changes. All of the staffing. In just the 4 years I have been there, I have only seen one grade level stay stable. I don't mean adding one person to a grade level. I have seen 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and special areas teams be completely different from when I started teaching at the school. The other grades-K and 5th, only have one person left from my original year. That is rough. Think about how many teammates KIS has gone through before me. What would you do if you constantly were going through these changes? I know all schools have turnover. But I am thinking of that of a normal school multiplied and then adding all the other changes. You have yourself as a constant. If that is the case, how do you turn to others time and time again? At some point, it is only human to just get tired. It is just easier to do your own thing.

I have much I could learn from KIS. Even in my new school ways, there are things she can still learn from me. Even more so, there are things that our team could learn if we all really were "with it." That is what frustrates me. I am annoyed when I see KIS ignore my teammate who is saying hello to her. I am annoyed also with myself for being mean sometimes as a result. I am annoyed when I give up trying to communicate with KIS, but I am also annoyed that when I try time and time again to open up the lines of communication, the response is so inconsistent. I wish I understood KIS, and I wish she understood me. I wish the teammates who left had more success with KIS, and then maybe could show me what to do or say because I feel so hit and miss with her. Sometimes I can get her to chat it up. That is the closest I can get. It is progress, because there were times she would literally ignore me if I spoke to her. But really, even these things don't compare to what it is that I really want. I want to be able to collaborate with all of my teammates, not just plan some things with the DA, or discuss things with the Newbie. Sounds all rainbowy, but seriously, that is what I want more than KIS to leave. I am just tired. Tired of all of it.

Does this all come down to KIS? No, what it really comes down to is teacher retention. What can we do as a school, as a district, as a nation, to keep teachers staffed in challenging schools? This is my real frustration. Not KIS, this is way bigger than her-she is a victim of this too, if you really think about it. She hasn't had consistency on a team level because of the system. It isn't the principal's fault. Not passing the buck. But if your team is constantly re-faced each year, how can you expect to build that level of trust needed to really function in that capacity? This then trickles down to the students. How do we do that? Not only attract, but retain teachers in the high need schools? That is my true rant.....

To be continued....

The Wrath of KIS

cfc@room312 — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 00:31:00 GMT

School is going great. I have a small class so far-only 13 kids that are physically there-and there is some promise there. I always feel like the NFL Draft whenever the school year starts. The lists change, classes get leveled, and then there you are, on day 37 , coming up with a game plan to make your franchise into a dynasty team. My recruits are so far cutting the mustard. They all want to help do everything, and bend over backwards to please me, even the so called "trouble" ones. Don't get me wrong, I am not crazy. I know there's a honeymoon phase. Even still, there is the occasional testing, but nothing serious. It is like playing chess-I corner you, and match you tic for tack until it is checkmate. It is a benevolent queendom. Act right, and I will treat you royal. Act crazy, and you will be the court jester.

I do see some smart kids in my group. I also see some with some academic issues already apparent (on the second day already). They are all helpful, and they are all happy to be in 312. Apparently, the buzz around the kid pool is that 312 is the place to be. If they want to actually be at school, that is already half the battle. If they come back the second day, after having homework the first night, and a couple of behavior plans, and still want to come back Wednesday, than that is even better. My kids, in short, have been cool. Now, where the problem ensues isn't the kids. Even with the Bills of the school, rarely the kids are the issue. True to form, that thorn in my thigh starts digging in deep. Usually it is administration and the coaches. Right now, the coaches and administration are too busy to harass me yet (or vise versa. Give me another week or two). So of course, who steps in to feel in that ever present void in my life? The void from harassment (or rather at the moment, the lack thereof) has been filled by none other than my bright and shining superstar KIS.

Let me preface this by using this moment to officially name my other to teammates. We already know KIS. I need to give you the background with my other two teammates to make this story flow for you. And here they are, ladies and gents, the other two members of the 4th grade Wrecking Crew. You know, WC could also be water closet, so maybe we need a new name. Sounds like 4th grade has pipe dreams and our year is going down the toilet. Not the best visual...

Teammate 1- The DA

Not district attorney, although he does have some tendencies toward arguing points with logic. He is a little more honest than a lawyer, though. Maybe a little too honest, but hey, that's why we get along. Nope, DA stands for Devil's Advocate. He likes to flip the script and play the other side. Sometimes it is what he believes, sometimes it is just to screw with your head and annoy you. I actually enjoy it, because you have to be intelligent to realize what he is doing. I like watching him rope some of our more gullible co-workers into those conversations which leave them scratching their heads. With him, you have to realize that you don't listen to half of what he is saying. I got this off the bat, and so he doesn't bother me. We sometimes tag team and harass 5th grade this way. He can be a thoughtful teammate, putting things in your box that he thinks may be useful, picking up the tab at lunch. He must have read my memo, because every time I come to his room after school he offers me snacks. That always scores points. His approach to KIS is more diplomatic than mine, and he is fully aware after a couple of days working with her . He caught on to the KIS learning curve quickly. He works hard, so he is often there with me after school, unlike KIS who will dart out at 2:46, a minutes after dismissal.

Teammate 2-The Newbie

I think it is pretty straight forward. She's new to our school. That could be for the better or worse. Right now, I will say better. She has some sass, which will take her a long way if you partner with me. You can't work with me without being a little sassy and smart alecky. That is a prerequisite. She has taught before, just not at our school. In terms of KIS awareness, she is just starting to feel the wrath of KIS. As I learn her a little better, I will tell you more.

And of course, KIS is teammate 3. You know her-the team leader who doesn't even acknowledge that she has a team. Yeah. I hold a torch to her standard of excellence. Oh, wait, the parchment is on fire, let me move it a little more to the left, err, I mean away from the papers. Wouldn't want that nasty flame to scorch her ever so high set goals...

And of course there is me, teammate 4. If KIS and my other mates get names, guess I should get one too. I will be QA for Quality Assurance. I go around and put stickers on things. No, not really. I am just the rebel rouser, the one who fights the fight against ignorance and insolence-on the part of the adults, not the kids....

And now with all that information, here are KIS' antics for the day. My class had P.E. today as a special area. KIS was mad because she thought the Newbie was going to Art today, and that is where she wanted to go. Sorry, KIS, hate to break it to you, but you don't get to pick your specials each day. Besides, we already let you decide where to go first-you were adamant about the first day being PE for you. Sorry, babe, but then that means you go to Music the next day. It is MAP, not PAM. It is a patten, or as the kids would say, a pat-er-ren. Simple math, sweetheart. Love you....

Then, being the beacon of light that I am, as I was leaving PE, I met up with the DA, and we got all the recess equipment for our teammates. Just figured we'd save some trips. The Newbie is appreciative. Cool. KIS, on the other hand, looks like she thinks I am handing her hot garbage instead of balls. The DA deduced that her disgust was in seeing that we also had equipment for ourselves as well (We are going to find out about supplies, even if you don't tell us hon! You don't have the whole school on lock and key, like your supply shelves...what is up with that?). Before this, I should also mention that she has started her cafeteria routine. The one where she beats the entire team to lunch and still picks up her kids last. Today she even beat the Pre-Kinder kids. Way to set the standard for excellence! I salute you!

That is just up to recess. After school, KIS is miffed with the entire team because we didn't meet with her. Okay, so here is a list of reasons why we didn't meet with her. If you have paid attention to my descriptions, you already will be able to predict some of them....

5) The three of us all had afternoon duty, and guess what-we were doing that!

4) Our team leader never mentioned it. Oh wait, let me elaborate....

-no set date or time to meet

-didn't ask us what worked for us at all

-lack of communication or a plan at all on her part

3) When she did decide for us to meet, after not only not telling us, when she saw that none of us were around, she didn't go looking for any of us, lord forbid calling any of us (because, she can't call our rooms and two of us -me and the DA - are her next-door neighbors). Why is it that she has none of our cell phone numbers, and I have both the DA and the Newbie's numbers in my phone book? Why am I even asking myself this?

2) Oh, did I mention that even though she saw each of us about 5 million times today, not once did she mention this to any of us?

and reason number 1:

1) After she blows up at me (like she always does when things don't go her way-it is our special love I think) I offer to go get the other two teammates, and she gets all mad, saying that it is now too late. She says we will just have to do it during our planning (I opted not to inform her that we'd have to do that in addition to whatever we'd have done today anyway). She wants to plan an entire unit, has totally ignored that we need to discuss the other subjects as well (she wants to take my science plans, but since I am the one who records the minutes, she can't steal credit for my work like she stole my schedule and the Pre-K lunch block! Hahahahahahahaha!) and also wants to send out a 4th grade letter that really is all about how her room runs, not considering our styles. This is because, "that is how we always did it," she says. Okay, reality check. By we, you really mean you, cause we know you don't collaborate. As if on cue, as I mention to the DA and the Newbie that KIS is mad and we now have to meet on Wednesday (cause does she tell either of them this? Of course not!) a 5th grade teacher tells me that KIS got really mad at her. When I ask why (I know, I know, remember I am a glutton for punishment), she says it is because-and I know this will shock you-that the new 5th graders are having a hard time working together in groups. The 5th grade teacher didn't understand why that upset KIS. I then pointed to her rooster and showed her that a lot of her class this year was KIS' former class. Ah, so it now makes perfect sense. KIS' classes over the year are a whole other story for a blog. Well, hon, if the teacher won't work with her teammates, how can you expect the kids to work with one another? Aww, here's an orange and a hot compress.

If that didn't make your day, here is my happy hit for all the ladies out there. Think on how we often are forced to look at children and women all day because of our line of work. At my school, there are guy teachers on every grade level, but most of them are gay (the DA included). It is cool, though. Still makes for some hard up need for male attention. Pretty sad. Well today, in the sandwich of specialness with KIS, there was a beacon of hope. As I am eating my lunch in the lounge with the specials teachers and the DA, he walks in. Who, you may ask? Let me fan myself. A mentor for the kids, who is a firefighter. Oh, and was he hot. The DA said that I just got quiet all of a sudden and that I was practically drooling. I won't lie...I traced every inch of his body with my eyes. It was one of those moments where I pictured shushing the kids while I ooggle the hot man in uniform. Oh, the thoughts in my head. I didn't care that the principal was standing right there. Everything she said was like those Charlie Brown teachers. I don't know what I am going to do with myself... So far I guess it is shoes, hot fireman, and KIS. Did I mention that engineers are also coming to mentor the kids? I gotta start getting ready now...

You Can't Teach an Old Dog New Tricks?

cfc@room312 — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 18:08:00 GMT

In the spirit of positivity (is that even a word?), I am trying to look toward the optimistic end of the spectrum. I didn't get Bill's little sister in my class this year (I swear she is a female version of him...). I also supposedly got a few kids who are supposedly really smart and a few that are really sweet/funny/etc. On the flip side, I also know that I have a few "ticking bombs" that were given to me because, quote, "KIS just wants them to be quiet, but you will try to "get" them.." I got a waiver this year, so no formal observation this year. My room feels homey now, so I feel like in that aspect I am ready for the school year. I have a general idea for the first few days, but I really have to feel my kids out.

All things said, even though I haven't been spewing rainbows, things have been ok. I am genuinely excited about school starting again. I am not even being sarcastic. I already have my first day outfit. I won't go into details, but it is a look of business meets casual. Tailored Express Editor pants with a pair of dual-colored (and tongued) Chuck Taylors. Sounds kinda funky, but it was something I stumbled on that actually looked pretty cool. What can I say? I am still a 25 year old first. My team has been cool, and people around the school have been nice. What about KIS, you may ask? She was even being halfway human. I actually sat down and talked to her about school things, which was already strange in itself. Then the even more surreal part-KIS asks me to teach her about ways to use technology after my presentation (the one I was volun-told to do). I am floored that she would even 1) admit she doesn't know something, 2) ask me for assistance with anything, 3) consider walking into the 21st century, or 4) even acknowledge my existence. Sounds harsh, yes, but seriously...consider all that I have told you about her up to this point.

And just as I start to see KIS in a new light, I find that perhaps it was just a random shot in the dark. After having a team meeting, I reluctantly change my schedule in an attempt to be uniform. I ask her the next day if it is correct before sending it off to administration. I noticed something that seemed off, but she assures me that it is fine the way it is. I email it, then go ahead and make one for the classroom. At about 2:30 that afternoon, I find on my printer KIS' schedule. She has gone and changed her schedule. This wouldn't matter if A) it wasn't the original schedule I had that she made me change, B) she had shared her decision with the rest of the team, C) our principal wasn't on this big kick to make all grade levels "uniform," or D) I didn't feel like she was just looking out for herself. I asked her basically why she did this, and if I now had to go change my schedule again, and she was all like, "Yeah, I saw what you meant, and so I changed my schedule after I talked to you. Don't worry. If you get in trouble, just change it back..." I am steaming like a demon at this point, but my other teammates let me know that they made their schedules like mine. I am beyond annoyed with her. Why does she resist it so? I try to sacrifice my way, probably more than I should, and she goes and takes my ideas after the fact, passing them off as her own. I take solace in that this really could be her last year. Live and learn.. At least I have some cool shoes.

My apartment is trashed, and the kids aren't even here yet, so...

cfc@room312 — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 04:31:00 GMT

I probably need therapy. Being that the first day of instruction is next Monday, it is scary that therapy has already crossed my mind. They say that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Right now, I admit that I have many problems.

After the last entry, I find the need to paint rainbows and sunshine into my walls. I usually can find the humor in even the bleakest of predicaments. I will laugh about things going down in mi escuela. Before I do that though, it may require some meds and perhaps a straight jacket. Maybe none of the above and just a stiff drink. Or three.

Should the working in the dark of last week serve as an indicator of the year to come? No, I refuse to let it get me down to that level. But I will say that with two days of staff development already under my belt, I already feel overwhelmed and want to hide in my blankets. All I need now is to walk into my classroom and find some lady named Cathy typing memos at my desk, with the "Hang in there" banner (you know, the one with the cat) propped on my back wall.

Don't get me wrong. There are some positive things. There are some "meh" things, and things that just make you go "hmmmmm..." There is the good, bad and the ugly. Good-My teammates seem like they are going to be okay. Of course, there is always KIS, but on the positive side, she hasn't shut any doors in my face yet and I keep hearing that this really is her last year. I can just dream, right? Just imagine. The school would be forced to find a new fourth grade teacher and then there is the chance to train them,er, collaborate with them, and win more soldiers in my cause to turn over the system that needs a few special touches. The system itself is the "bad and ugly." Remember all the awesome things that I ranted about all year? Funny how those are things that everyone else is starting to rant about as well. Even funnier (or perhaps sadder) is that even with more voices, I am still yet to be convinced that anything will be heard. Why is it so hard to look at objective data without getting hurt or defensive? I will never fully know, but I do know that until we are able to "keep it real," we will keep really fudging up. Like how I cleaned up that? Ah, self censorship.

Humorous tidbits. Consider all that I have told you about KIS. Our new principal has decided to have team leaders this year (which I have many mixed feelings about) and guess who 4th grade has to turn to for leadership, guidance, and inspiration. That is right, my beacon of hope, the light on that dark path (or, err, classroom) is none other than.....KIS! I am beyond overjoyed. Talk about irony. More ironic is how one of the most laid back teachers (and that is really the nicest way that I can say the teacher houses a zoo....) implies that "some teachers" have gotten complacent. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! The AP goes on about her tech skills, and then keeps having issues with all of the technology she used so far for PD. I learned how to make "lip sandwiches" (basically a way to close your mouth to keep from talking) after seeing lots of moments like this. I had a few comments that I had to express, and it hurt a few feelings, but they were all based in fact.

I get calls from people about students that I didn't even realize were in my class (hadn't gotten to see my rooster until today) and Sp. Ed informs me that there are a few more students that they requested be in my class who aren't on my rooster. So I went from a couple over my English teammates to about three, to possibly four extra kids, to "let's make your room the inclusion room." I still haven't gotten to plan anything with my team, send communications welcoming my new class, or finish my room for that matter. I haven't even gone to the bathroom yet. Then there is still the issue of my intern who comes next week. I have my own professional projects that aren't important to administration (even though they support the things we need to grow in). I can hardly contain my excitement and delight. Seriously. I realize it may be hard to find the joy in all of the confusion, stress, and darkness, but it is there, wedged between all that and the idea that I should be KIS' maid of honor. Did I mention that she is getting married? That is good for her. I mean it. Seriously. While she is getting fitted for a gown, maybe I should go back to considering getting fitted myself..with that white straight jacket. Is this what I get for wanting to fix things? I think every teacher should be required to switch grades with someone else so that they fully understood the issues that each grade level has to deal with. Administration should have to teach each grade for like a week per grade in all our full course loads and other duties. I probably shouldn't be given any power or say because I already see myself flipping things upside down and inside out. Or is that just what we need?...Ahh, so the journey begins-go 08-09!

Welcome Back, Kotter

cfc@room312 — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 22:09:00 GMT

There are no words to describe my first day in my classroom. Actually, there are many words. So many ones that are probably not appropriate;they are words that are the type to make a sailor blush. In the spirit of school starting back soon, I will attempt to keep it clean. Gotta get in the habit of not swearing in front of the kids again, no matter how much the adults in my building bring it out of me.

It isn't like I was expecting fanfare. I wasn't disappointed when there was no banner and balloons or champaign waiting for me in 312. Things started out pretty typical, which by now you'd think I'd realize always means something less than desirable is about to take place. When will I ever learn? In the front office stood parents and kids getting registered for the school year. That was fine. The secretary was filling out paper work, which again is pretty standard. After getting my classroom keys and swipe card from my mailbox (which had been moved...) I was on my way to room 312. I then notice a camera in the walkway...that's strange, that wasn't there last year, I think to myself as I walked along. Upon entering the wing, I notice...hey, it's pitch dark in here. Now here is where I should have run out of the building, gotten in my little yellow car, and hightailed it back to the comforts of my bed, diving head first into the covers. Oh no, that would have made too much sense, and by now, we all know that I am a glutton for punishment.

I forge ahead, figuring that I am just the first one there, and that no one has turned on the wing lights yet. Yeah. Well, I keep walking down the halls, only to notice cords on the ground, strange men going in and out of closets with lanterns, and that huge chunks of ceilings are...well, on the ground. Do I leave now? Of course not. I finally arrive at room 312, which is on the farthest end of the wing by the way, and unlock my door. Of course, because the floor has been waxed, 85% of the pieces of furniture in my room was somewhere totally different than when I left school. Not just desks. I look at my filing cabinet on the opposite side of the room. It was all full of crap that I had to unpack just to move it (because we were instructed not to ask custodians to help us-they had other things to tend to...I find that odd for so many reasons). Then there is the network printer and some computers which are all unpluged and stuff is crammed on one table (all was on two tables). None of the cords are with the original machines, so I get to try to guess and match, hoping not to blow up the wing. Textbooks are already in my room, as are agendas, folders and notebooks. Not sure why. My desks are a hot mess. Why did they take some of the mates away-I have all funky height ones. No custodian is going to adjust them for me right now, because well, they have more important things to do. And to add insult to injury, there is stuff on them-I have to clean them (and the chairs) myself. Didn't I clean them all before school left out? Shouldn't someone else go behind me and do it again? Shouldn't I have learned by now? Then there is my own desk, which is by the windows (i.e. the opposite side of the room) and the guided reading table. All of my bookshelves and my supply shelf are by the computers. At least they were on the right side of the room. They were just on the wrong end of the room. I find evidence of "summer visitors" so I will probably have to investigate that. I had no food there, so go figure.

I have still failed to mention the best part. I get to do all this furniture shuffling-and swearing-in the pitch dark! Not only is the hall dark, my room is too. I flick the switch on and off, only to discover that the electricity is out. How awesome is that? To add the cherry to the sundae, when I go to the office to inquire about the lack of light, I am told to use "nature's light" and then told that I am presenting at a staff development for the entire campus next week. How do you like that? In the dark, being volun-told to do something. And then the principal is all like "I am glad to see you. I need to talk to you and the math coach about planning math/science intervention for the incoming fourth graders and the fifth graders as well...I could just gouge my eyes already. I already had to go on some rants about how the problem is in the lack of true vertical alignment. It isn't enough that recent research backs all of my rants. Oh, and of course, I have more students in my class than KIS. Yeah. Figures. I know some principals/assistant principals at other schools. Wonder if it is time to start considering my other options? That is a shame. Yeah for August!

My Testimony...

cfc@room312 — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 02:07:00 GMT

It is all winding down...I find myself spending the remainder of my July and the start of August back in the classroom. No, I am not kicking it in room 312 just yet. For that matter, I am not even at my own school yet. That's right lady and gents, I am in PD mode. I had lofty goals for this summer. The siren call of my bed, daytime television, and the wooing call of Guitar Hero have somewhat deterred me from my path. In someways, that is what I have needed. I have a hard time getting away from my work. I have had time to think on my personal life, the one that isn't rooted in my students, and reflect on where I want to be. How to regain some of the balance that I so desperately need.

And then it all comes down like a bag of bricks. I look at the daunting task in front of me and wonder if I have what it takes to get the job done. I look at the growth that has happened in the few years I have been teaching. I have learned many things about who I am. While my practice has evolved over the years, I find that some things-such as my enthusiasm and heart to do this, have remained from the very day I literally accepted the call to teach at my school. In the course of that time, well, life has happened-both in and outside of the classroom. Outside the classroom, I did that transition from college kid to real adult. Moving away from my college apartment, and in a residential area with no keg parties. Granted, I still want to move away from where I am at now, but it is a start. I have been financially responsible for myself since college, but there is a big shift from working part time and getting scholarships and financial aid to working full time as a professional with benefits. It is amazing how a degree can change your SES in an instant. Taking care of all my health care, paying all the bills, and all the insurance I have now is crazy-car, renter's, life, etc., etc.....I remember being in college, student teaching, working and getting sick, thinking, "I can't afford to be sick-I gotta buy books, etc." Now I can go to the doctor if I feel crappy. That may not seem like much, but I remember being without......

Then there was the first car, my little yellow Mazda, which I am still learning and growing comfortable with. I have left behind my crazy guy escapades (much to the dismay of some of my teacher friends, cause there are no more crazy stories as I sneak in work at the bell) and am focused on real relationships, not flings or unhealthy engagements. I have looked closely at my friendships and some have fallen by the wayside, others have grown, and some are still up in the air. Most of my friends are older than me (maybe it is the only child in me that has always forced me to converse with older adults rather than kids my own age cause there weren't any). That is fine and all, but I am also trying to find more friends that are in the same life stage as me-no kids just yet, not necessarily married yet (they can be, but in keeping with life stages..) starting out in career. I have always been self reflective-goes with my introversion-but even now it is more specific and focused on my personal growth. Sometimes things are clearer than others...

And then there are the days of my teacher life. Switching grades, new teammates EVERY single year (even when my grade level has stayed the same). Different mentors each year, and all of the people who officially mentored me are all now gone from my school. I keep in touch with them, but still. Losing some of the instructional coaches. Lost a few teacher colleagues. Administration-my Principal, the one who gave me that call, and who has supported my growth every step of the way (in oh so many ways) is gone to a new school (she has talked to me about following her there). I see how my instructional and managerial approaches have dramatically strengthened each year. I went from reluctance in my own teacher "voice" to becoming an advocate for my kids, to a teacher other teachers turn to for consultation. I am by no means where I want to be-it is a continuum. Still.....

I think about my contemplation of the new year and I try to pinpoint my anxiety. Is it the change? Maybe partially, but change is the only constant I have from my experience to this point. Do I worry about the kids? I know that I will do my best with them, and build a caring community-all of my classes-even the crazy one-have developed a sense of "family" each year, so it is doable. I also know that all of my actions are researched based best practice. I guess what really scares me is the position that I really have been being groomed for since I set foot on campus. People are looking to me to..do things. I have always tried to blend in the background-it is scary being called forward. I see my strengths, but I also see my shortcomings. I used to be able to hide in my "baby" stance at work...everyone looked out for me and I was held up at the shoulders while I gained balance. I feel like I have gone from that struggling toddler, toddling those first steps to a preschooler on a tricycle. Now I feel like I am on a bicycle and someone stole my training wheels.

I actually talked to my teammates today (one I went to a training with, but both I talked to over the phone in separate conversations). My role even as a teammate has changed. When I started teaching, they mostly supported me. Now, both of my teammates are new to the grade, though not to teaching, and they are ...looking toward me. It is different, and I wonder if I can not only be effective with my group of students, but also if I can help my team. At least both teammates are upbeat about the situation and work hard. I was telling my looping teammate of my concerns with the year (he has been there the whole time, and I didn't want to have that talk with my new teammate) and he offered me solace in that no matter what happens with all the changes, whether they be good or bad, at least we will be in this together. It helps to hear that. We will just pass the flask from teammate to teammate...I find it ironic that I have phone numbers for both of my teammates, and I can call either on my cell and have a conversation with them. They have been my teammates for about a month now. But KIS has been my teammate for the last two years (the only one who has stayed) and she wouldn't even call me on the classroom phone. She won't even come in my room, and she will block me from hers. I couldn't call her now if my life depended on it. My brand new teammate, fresh from another district. I have spent one day with her, and I know more about her than I do KIS. In short, that is a damn shame. Maybe that also bothers me...

For the Love of Bill...

cfc@room312 — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:37:00 GMT

I often talk of all the "specialness" at my school. There is the randomness of the Bills that wander through our halls. There is the up and down round and round relationship with the instructional coaches and administration. Teachers come and go like retention is out of style. I can't think of one grade level that has stayed the same every year (or even for two years consecutively) while I have taught at the school. Team stability has gone the way of the jheri curl and parachute pants-it just ain't what's hot on the streets here. I know, that was grammatically awesome.....

Yes, there is KIS. There are teacher cliques. I am not in any particular clique-I get along with mostly everyone. There is the busted copier in the workroom, special "insect friends" from time to time, and the bathrooms on the 300 wing which are abysmal. The computers that die on us weekly (to the point I bring my old computers to school for the kids to use) and the constant destruction of the door leading to the playground (the door directly outside my door leading outside). There are the times when we have had police chases right outside the windows of our classroom, causing the school to be locked down. Once, the SWAT team got involved (my poor kids were stuck in the cafeteria for like half the day, and I had no way of being with them). Parents that are in jail is a common thing at my school. At the same time, so are Air Jordans and free lunch. The kids already know about the neighborhood gangs.

All of this is true. But there are somethings that get my goat. It is not the kids themselves or even the situation of the school itself. Every school has its issues. What bothers me more than all of this is when people who are clueless about any of the challenges Lil' Bill faces daily judge him. I won't lie-I crack on the kid. It is hard not to-he gives me so much material to work with. But as much as I clown that boy, I love him even more. It is impossible to really be at my school without having some emotional stakehold in these kids. They have a lot going on. I am not saying that the answer is to coddle them. Empathize, but then have expectations. They need someone who understands where they are coming from, but at the same time, they need someone to expect things of them. It just never ceases to amaze me how out of touch the west is from the east in my district. When I listen to people talk about "those eastside kids" I wonder, when was the last time you even talked to any of these kids? Walked in their neighborhood? Been to their houses/apartments? Have you seen teachers who go into their own pockets for the kids? I have earned the right to rant about my people because I am actually working with my people, trying to help make things better. If an outsider is going to judge them without doing their bid, their time, on the eastside, I am not really interested in whatever they have to say. They didn't earn a rant--not even a complaint.

Back in the Day...

cfc@room312 — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 05:10:00 GMT

When I write, I tend to think on a continuum. Mostly, my writing focuses on the here and now and a glimpse into the future. Other times I am reflective, thinking on the past. At all times, I try to be somewhat humorous, maintain a relative level of relatablility (there I go making up words again..), and dose out that tough love in ways that only I know how. I do this all by observing the people I come across and releasing the random thoughts that run through my head at any given moment. I make lists, cause that is just what I do, and make reference to 80's music and fads......

I want to take this time to remember a ...simpler..time. I have been blogging about KIS, interviews, and all the changes that I will endure this upcoming school year. As a result, teachers have asked me questions that I felt would be better addressed as a blog itself than as a comment. Give me a mic and one half listener and I won't shut up...I love getting on soap boxes, but that is not today's mission. Nor is it to be a dissenter or a rebel rouser, challenging the status quo and complacency (hey, school hasn't started yet...). No, my friends, this is a chance to reflect on those simple days, the days before 312- I used to roost in room 203-and pre KIS (can we really have days that are pre-KIS, being that she has been teaching since the dawn of time?). I feel like I have already aged like 35 years to tell this story, when in all actuality, this all happened like three years ago...bear with me...

I talk now about conducting interviews, but I still remember being on the opposite end of the interviewing process. If I think a little harder, I actually remember finishing up apprentice teaching and graduating college. I student taught 5th-never could get a 4th grade placement (what irony that now I actually teach 4th grade). I also interned in 5th. At any rate, my cohort mates were all getting jobs that spring (some before graduation) and what was yours truly doing? I applied for jobs, but I also applied for an ESL program. I was a sucker for punishment even back then. Student teach, go to school full time, hold a part time job somehow, oh and graduate. Then what do I do? Go sign up to spend my summer right before teaching in the classroom again. I think I thrive off of activity.

At any rate, I spent my first summer as a college graduate right back at my alma mater taking courses. I also student taught (again!) in ESL elementary and middle school classrooms. After it was all said and done, I became certified early childhood through middle school as a generalist and ESL teacher. Oh, and I managed to travel across my state interviewing as well. So when future teachers ask if I spent the summer before my first gig planning lessons and all that jazz..not quite...sort of, well, I traveled a lot.

The interviewing process itself was actually interesting. Each interview was a lesson on what to do, what not to do. It was kinda like going on a blind date. You dress nice, are on your best behavior, and basically in it to see what you each have to offer one another. There were some schools that didn't work out because I didn't have the experience necessary. Others, well, the chemistry just wasn't right. The process helped me learn what was important to me in a job. I realized some things then:

1) I had to get a job with older kids...I don't have the patience to work with the little bitty kids.

2) I had a strong desire even back then to work with kids who "looked like me" (think beyond just race) and give back to the hood, which is where I am from myself.

3) I had to be somewhere that my potential would be fostered and I'd have a chance to grow as a leader.

I got turned down for jobs, I got offered jobs. The thing that made me accept the job I currently have was just the way I felt during the interview. I was comfortable, and the goals of the school fit perfectly within my personal goals for teaching. I can't really describe it, I just knew it was where I was supposed to be for the time being. I just remember that it was the only job I felt that I would be upset if I didn't get the job. I thought I didn't get the job at first. I remember that I was pretty bummed out, but was making my trek to Houston for some interviews. On the way to H-town, I got a call from the Principal offering me the job..it was like some movie drama, seriously. Sporadic trip to Houston, hitting the road in despair and contemplation, only to have thoughts interrupted with the chime of a cell phone-hey, that's your phone simpleton, answer it. You now have a job and...an interview in the morning. How "special" is that? And here's where the 80's theme music blasts and the credits roll (this is pre-yellow Mazda days, so no driving off into the sunset here)... -insert "I'm Not The One" by The Cars here-

And that kids, is the story of how I got my first teaching gig. There are other stories-of new teacher academy, meeting my first teammates, organizing my first classroom (I loved how the previous teacher organized by cramming everything into the closet and on shelves. It is a bad sign when your first interactions with the custodian involve him bringing a huge trash bin in your room and saying "good luck...") or just general grief that veteran teachers gave me (a "hazing" into the world of education, I will say). But that is for another day, another time.

The New Kid on the Block

cfc@room312 — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 02:20:00 GMT

It is about that time. Sigh. I read the Sunday paper and there are already back to school sales. How can this be? It is like July. I haven't even gotten to the "I'm bored with summer, what am I gonna do?" phase yet. I still find contentment in sleeping in (which means getting out of bed at like 8:30 AM) eating whatever I want whenever I feel like it, and peeing freely (well, maybe not totally freely..). What does this say about me? Not really sure.

I am starting to shift into the productive side of my summer. I have integrated my science curriculum with Language arts and mathematics. I created a scope for science for the entire year, broke it into the major sciences we study (Physical, Life, and Earth Science, with processes integrated throughout each science) and within each set, broken it into units. I then started doing curriculum mapping for my first units in science. I am planning to do the same with math and language arts. We have a district curriculum, but I have been falling away from it more each year, and focusing more on the state standards.

I have also been doing some teacher reading and am looking into some summer trainings I am interested in doing before I have to go back to school. Thinking of my normal, gotta get ready to go back shpell, trying to convince myself that I should be more productive. I will be, and at moments I am pretty darn inspired, but right now I still want to watch "quality" cable television and eat my Strawberry Newtons. I still look at the things that await this school year, and I can only guess at the "specialness." I have 2 new teammates. I have the same KIS (which could be her last year, but I doubt I would be that lucky). A new principal. My first year with a real contract, no mentor (I will miss that, actually). Same old jobs and responsibilities, plus some other ones. A new group of kids. It is crazy. Three years ago, I was the new kid on the block, the teacher that kids thought was a sub. I was the newbie that the veteran teachers played pranks on, like tricking me into chipping in for floor buffing, or prank calling my classroom. Now the veteran teachers respect me a little more, and play fewer pranks (though I still get the occasional harassment). Kids all want to be in my class (it is crazy, and I am not always sure why the response is so crazy..it is a mixed blessing). And now I also have a college intern. Me? With an intern? I still remember the time when I questioned that someone thought it was a good idea for me to be left to teach children. That was when I felt like I was doing everything wrong, and those mean veterans that were messing with me tried to reassure me that I was doing just fine...

And now I am here, being left to shape the mind of a future teacher. I still remember when I was an intern. I actually ran into one of my teacher friends who I met as a student teacher at a conference this summer. She said that I have become a lot more confident as I have come into my own. It is hard being a student teacher in someone else's class with kids that aren't totally yours. I worried about becoming a teacher, but after becoming one, I realize that there is liberation in having your own class. Of course, there is administration, the instructional coach team, and the KISes of the teacher world. Even with the outside forces, you still have so much influence. Now my influence is being spread beyond room 312.

Oh, the memories and visions of the future, all hodgepodged in my scattered brain. I am not ready to go back, but I eventually will be. Am I a dork to even be thinking about any of this right now? Nah. I'm too cool, I am no square...I am more of a rhombus..or an equilateral rectangle. Oh, wait..those are all the same thing..oh well..

...And Then There Were 3...

cfc@room312 — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 22:01:00 GMT

I guess more accurately, there are now four, but if you really think about the kind of teacher KIS is, there is justification in my stance that 4th grade is now three teachers strong. As some of you may know, recently we did interviews to find an extra 4th grade teacher. In the three years I will have taught 4th grade, I have lost three teammates. My first year in 4th there were 4 of us in all, and the only one left from that first year is KIS. Yeah, so I basically had no team left. It is KIS.

There is the issue of those who left. Two out of the three still teach, just at other schools. One of them was my mentor, and she still teaches 4th, and in the same district, so we still talk to one another. We collaborate on things. The third member just recently went back to grad school, and we still talk from time to time. I am sure she will come volunteer at the school this year...

And then, looking to this August, there will be three and then KIS. I don't really know much about the new teacher other than she is transferring from a different district, and that she apparently is a workaholic. She seemed energetic and friendly in the interview, so hopes spring eternal. She has experience in 2nd and 3rd (I taught 2nd before, and my other teammate is moving up from 3rd) so she will know where the kids are coming from. My other teammate, as I have mentioned already, is a teacher already from our school, who is looping up with his kids. He is already my buddy, so I foresee that going well. He works hard and has high standards for his kids. He is very thoughtful and considerate. He is somewhat of a firecracker, and in staff meetings, he is very vocal, to say the least. We do crack jokes and hang out already, so that will be ok.

I am interested to see how this all plays out. Will our teaching styles mesh? Is the new teacher going to try to take on the hot scorching mess that is KIS? Will this really be KIS' last year (I have heard rumors that it is, but I can never get too excited). How will we all interact with one another? What "team" will we be? The one that gets along with everyone, the overachievers, the ones who stab each other in the back (well, maybe not 3 of us...not even KIS, she is too indifferent to us to do that)? I wonder what my role will be this year. I have worn different hats in the past few years, from math adviser, to snack provider, to source of amusement, consultant, dissenter, child whisperer, resident rapper, technology guru, etc, etc. People keep looking at me. To do things. It is kinda scary. And to add to the excitement, let's add a new principal. Oh, I can't wait.....

The 10 Year Plan....

cfc@room312 — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 23:12:00 GMT

Yeah, so I know you have all been sweating bullets as you anticipated my blog about upcoming interviews for my new teammate. Or maybe you totally forgot about that as you celebrated your ability to pee and eat at random with the close of the school year. Or then again, maybe all of those things are things that I only do. Eat, sleep, and relieve myself. Sounds more like a newborn baby than a 25 year old, 4th year 4th grade teacher.

At any rate, the moment arrived. It has been a fun filled day of interviews! It was...an experience. One, in that it was my first time interacting with my new principal (who was at one time my assistant principal, but then became principal somewhere else and now she is back...). I will have to observe her more before I comment on her. I have to develop her character a little more before I can blog about her. The 4th grade team was called in to help with the interviews, so you can bet your bottom dollar that KIS was the only one who couldn't make it. Of course not. Why be interested in deciding who your new teammate will be when you don't work with your team anyways? I amaze myself expecting things like growth and collaboration from KIS...when will I ever learn?

The second thing that was interesting was that this was my first time on the other side of the interviewing process. I remember the days of practicing answering questions, making eye contact, and being sharply dressed. It was stressful to say the least. This time I got to ask the questions (as did my other teammate who actually did show up and the Principal). I noticed all those things that people warn you about in interviews. So here it goes-another list (we all know that I loves a good list or three): Things you should never do (or say) in an interview....

1. Don't come in smelling weird. It isn't so much that one person stank, it is just that the "fragrance" wasn't the one for her. Yeah. And I didn't think my nose was that sensitive.

2. Don't forget to moisturize your lips. I am looking at you when you talk, and it bothers me a lot when your lips look like you have been kissing fossils. I know, I need to grow in life, but please, chap stick is cheap.

3. Avoiding eye contact. Why is it so hard to look at me? I was fly today, everything matched (not guaranteed during the summer, so there). If you don't look at me when I am talking to you, I will think either that you are insecure or a liar.

4. Don't come in without knowing the talk of the field. If you want to be a teacher, I am going to need you to talk like you know "teacher talk." I shouldn't have to explain what literacy is. Classroom Management, differentiating instruction, all that jazz. Seriously....

5. Don't think I don't notice when you give indirect answers to my questions. Don't flounder about. Get to the point, don't talk in elaborate sentences about nothing. When you just drone on and on, I stop listening, and so does the rest of the panel. If I stop looking at you, and look down at the paper with my questions, and write less, something is wrong.

6. You can't fake the funk. Don't do this as a side gig. One person, in short, told us that this was something she was going to do for a few years until she basically figures out what she really wants to do with her life. She pretty much told us this was to pad her resume. IT WAS PART OF HER TEN YEAR PLAN, which really didn't have anything to do with education. I quit listening to anything she had to say after that...

7. If you know that the school's demographic is approximately 100% minority and 97% low SES, don't come in acting like you are the "Great White Hope," here to save the poor children whose parents just don't get how important education is. First off, as I much as I clown Bill, I love him to pieces. I am not here to "save" him from parents who don't know better. I am here to meet him where he is at. Yeah. You better love the kids before you can expect to lead them anywhere. They are not dumb. They can sense the "realness" of people. Why do you think they love me so much? I mean aside from my obvious awesomeness and the ability to hold my bladder for hours on end. I get on their cases, but they see me after school putting things together for them, or run into me at Target as I am buying things for a science project in class. I listen to them, we eat lunch together during the school year and talk about anything but school during those times. It is a very hard job, but I love what I do, and who I am working for-the Bills, Agnes Pearls, and Esther Maries. I need you to bring that energy and then some if you are going to kick it with the school marm from room 312. Get out of here with that weak stuff! Bring your heart and mind, with both wide open....

Yeah, yeah, I better stop. I am starting to sound like a NIKE commercial. Just Do it already!!! All I need to do is start pounding my chest, and slap my teammates on the butt like we are football players. Or maybe not do that. Yeah.

And with all that said, I will leave you with my favorite interview questions...

1. So let's say that hypothetically you had to deal with a difficult parent (or three , etc. I think to myself). How would you go about doing that?

2. How do you deal with teachers who are reluctant to change (channeling the image of KIS and her gender segregated classroom)?

3. What do you know about our school (thinking to myself, do you REALLY know what you are getting yourself into)?

4. What would be your ideal team situation (well, at least 2 out of 3 or your teammates wouldn't be antisocial)?

5. What are your strongest subject areas (Cause I need a teammate who is better at Language Arts than me, cause that isn't my strength-I am a math/science kinda gal)? How do you teach things that aren't your strength?

and finally...

6. How hospitable are you? From time to time, I need teammates who :

a) provide me with fruit or other snacks

b) have the ability to listen to me go on rants about structural changes that need to take place (and help me take on the system from time to time)

c) have a designated place in their classroom for me to lay out in from time to time

d) don't mind me showing up at all times of the day at random, like before school,, on the way to lunch, during specials, etc...I will call you when I feel the need as well.

e) will share my load-meaning my troubles and joys (not so my job, but relate to it rather) and share Margaritas as well after hours when it is a "special time."

Yeah, you lucked out-two lists for the price of one! And now I am off to eat dinner and watch Numb3rs, a show that I love because I think math is something I can "figure out." It shows that math teachers can be cool-they are not all old men who have been teaching since the attack at Pearl Harbor. No offense to old math nerds-just bringing in a new breed. A younger, sleeker, sexier breed....yeah..

The Realities of School Teachers Everywhere

cfc@room312 — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 14:06:00 GMT

Yeah, so I have been gone for about a week. I had a conference this past week. It was actually very good, and I took some things away from it that I will use in my classroom. On a different note, but still relating to the conference, I also took away something else with me. This conference included teachers from all over my state. If you have noticed anything about me, you notice that I notice many things. I get great joy and humor from people watching. This is where I get some of my best blog material-watching what others do. I considered this week a case study of teachers and their behaviors. Through scientific inquiry, I have discovered a few commonalities that teachers share, no matter where they teach, what grade, or for however many years of experience they have....ah yes, a list. I love a good list, and here this one goes:

Reality #1- We all know a KIS.

If you have been following me, you don't need me to remind you of the awesomeness that is my teammate KIS. If you haven't a clue what I am talking about, shame on you! I then am forced to keep you after school and make you write lines on my chalkboard (or rather, my dry erase board). At any rate, there is always bound to be some old crotchety teacher who is resistant to change and is the proverbial thorn in the thigh to progressive teachers everywhere. He or she has been teaching since about the Great Depression and has managed to capture the 1950's motif in his or her classroom. You know what I mean. You step into the room (that is assuming they even let you in the room to start with) and immediately feel like you have gone back in time like 30 years. Yellowed papers adorn the walls, and the kids sit in separate groups based on gender. Oh yeah. Good 'ole school, just like great grandma used to dream about...

Reality #2- I'm not the only one who wonders how some teachers can leave at dismissal and still get it all done.

Unlike KIS, who leaves promptly at the dismissal bell (she once almost ran me over as I was going to the parking lot to get something out of the trunk of my car after school one day) I stay after school to plan. I make copies, I find resources. I even -gasp- ask other teachers for ideas. I know, crazy, right? And yet it amazes me when I see teachers saunter out of the building promptly after dismissal. I could see if this was once in awhile because you have a doctor's appointment, or maybe it was just a long week (or day). But not everyday. During the school day, I rarely have sufficient time to do these things because lo and behold, I am teaching. Isn't that a strange concept? If not that, during my planning I am often being delegated to some task that the powers that be dropped on my plate while I was still drinking my coffee and getting distracted by the free muffins in the lounge (there is always a catch..don't forget that).

Reality #3- Some else really does have a student crazier/lazier/more "special" than yours.

I know it may be hard to phantom, but you will come across a teacher who has at least one kid that is more [insert adjective here] than your Bills, Agnes Pearls, and Mels. Sometimes the teacher with the "crazy" will be you. Other times, don't be surprised if someone down the road, across the street, or on the other side of town has "it" in a way that you never could imagine. But what do I know? I always get the cream of the crop, my kids are always inspired, and we rarely have to deal with flying chairs, swears, random conversations, jive talk (yes I said jive talk), hyperness, short attention spans, and turtling. Oh wait, that wasn't my room. I was looking in KIS' room. Sigh. *Walks back in own classroom and closes the door*

Reality #4- Teachers can be just as bad as their kids.

If you are ever fortunate enough to be in a room full of teachers, you will very quickly notice how we all mirror the different types of kids in our classes. Often times, our maturity level isn't far from what we teach. As much as we hate it when our kids talk while the teacher is teaching, what do you see teachers doing in meetings? Having side conversations with our neighbors, passing notes, drawing pictures in our notebooks. Then there are the annoying teachers who think they know it all and will not shut up (I wonder how their kids get a word in edgewise). The ones who keep going to the bathroom, and the ones who can't sit still. Then there are the ones who break out into a fit of laughter when the presenter says that today we are going to whack our balls. I am sorry, I will grow up, and try not to hold up class with my lewd laughter next time.

Lastly.....

Reality #5- Teachers love free stuff.

Okay, so who am I really fooling? We all know teachers live off of free things. Doesn't even really matter what the free thing is. At this conference, there were bottles of water out, fruit, candy, bags of chips, etc. outside of each room. That is fine and dandy. Of course teachers are snacking on the snacking snacks. But why are there teachers shoving bags of chips, Milky Ways, and 6 bottles of water in the free tote that we received? Again, free tote. I have like five million free totes that I have acquired over the period in which I have taught. What am I going to do with all of them? But back to the original thought. One teacher is having a conversation with me at our group table, and as we work, she very nonchalantly puts a plate, bowl, glass, some breakfast bars and cereal in her tote as if there is nothing strange about the move. Ok, so maybe she was just all out stealing. The line gets blurry. Right.

Yeah, so you will have to stay tuned as I will soon give you ways in which I compared my district's team of teachers to the cast of the Real World....

The Return...

cfc@room312 — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 22:13:00 GMT

I have been free from the school year for approximately 8 days now. Wow. Only eight days. Am I ready to go back yet? Nah....

What have I managed to accomplish? Well, I went to a family reunion and successfully managed to avoid organizing all the kids I saw running around. I finally took my car to the body shop (after being rear ended about three months ago on my way to work, ironically) and it looks all new again. Stocked up on video games cause I plan on playing until my hands are shaped like claws-already happened once this summer. I also upped the hard drive on my computer so that I can store all of my music collection on it-major electronics upgrades on the way-awesome stuff.

Basically, everything had been going fine. I had been sleeping late (which for me is until 7:30 AM) and eating, peeing, etc. as I please. It is a teacher's dream. Craziness. I gotta plan for my trip to a science and math academy this week-I leave on Sunday and come back next Friday. Yeah, I am pretty excited, even if it is school related.

Notice that I said had been fine. At like 5 this afternoon, I get a call. From whom, you ask? Oh, just the Assistant Principal, the one giving me grief over cumulative folder pictures...yeah, I will let that go at some point. Any who, she calls to see if I would be interested in sitting in for some interviews for my new teammate. So yeah. Looks like with two weeks into break I am right back at school again. Figures. Get ready soon for my creative interviewing questions tailored for such a "special" occasion....

Isa Free! Yessir!

cfc@room312 — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 16:49:00 GMT

For those of you who are perplexed, that was just the sound of me celebrating my recent emancipation. Yessir (Yes sir stretched out) Isa (I am) free! I finally got my room packed and cleaned, tossed things out, mailed stuff back to FOSS, and got that damn goldenrod piece of crap all signed and delivered. The excess emails are all tossed (down to less than 20 from over 400) and I shot the duce (meaning peace out to those not hip) to teachers and staff. I already had my goodbye letter to my Principal, and she has already started "talking to me" about coming to her new school in the future in a non-visiting capacity, if you know what I mean. It would definitely be different, that is all I will say at the moment about that...

It is all so surreal. I looked at how sad my room looked without the posters up and things all shoved away, and it is crazy how I can still hear the conversations I had with my kids this year. I could still see Bill wandering around the room confused, and hear the PA system blaring as I attempt to teach something vital. I see the classroom phone flashing with missed calls, and picture myself rolling around in thrown about paperwork. I see KIS ignoring me day in and out, but coming in my room only to get things off of the printer in my room (we share printers, so she has to come to me to get her printouts...haha sucker!). Lots of laughs, cheers and tears alike. I am kinda sad to see the year end, even with all the drama that ensued. My kids were high needs academically, but in character they were super sweet and loving-I can't imagine what they will be like as 5th graders. We shared a bond because I had many of them twice. I can only imagine what my next group will be like. It is crazy in that most of 3rd grade wants to be in my room next year. Wonder what is going to happen with that?

I am not sure what I am going to do this summer. Aside from the work that I already have lined up, that is. Where are my stories for the blog going to come from? Perhaps I will replay events from the year that I didn't blog about like reruns on tv or something....