As I have looked back over my life as a child and a young
adult I have discovered that I learned more from dad than any other person. His
influence on my life impacted me and helped develop me as a student and as an
individual. There is no doubt that a everyone is nothing more than a
compilation of things that people have said to us and have done to us. My dad
always had plenty to say, and did many things with me as a young child that
helped me develop my interests, and many of the unique talents that I have
today. He was a dad who was much older than the father’s of some of my friends.
I was born when he was forty six years old. By the time I was 12 he had already
had one stroke and didn’t have the physical strength to do many of the
activities that young boys enjoy participating in with their father. He might
not have had the strength to play baseball, football, or basketball with me but,
anytime I wanted to participate in these activities he took me to the event and
watched and supported me. Anything that I wanted to be involved with he watched
and critiqued my performance. He became a student of the activity and became my
first teacher.
As a father of two daughters myself I have learned that I
have to take on the role as an educator for my children. .As a divorced dad it
has become a challenge to involve myself in my child education because I don’t
see my kids on a daily basis. I do however call everyday and I am very aware of
their academic progress and their day to day activities. I am a participant, a
student, a supporter, and a teacher of their academic program. I have been an
educator for 30 years and have taught more students, teachers, and parents than
I care to mention. I believe that my success will not be based on how well I
educated someone else’s children, but how well I educated my own children.
Stephen Covey explained in is book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
that a person has to achieve private victory in their life before they can have
any form of public victory. In very simple terms I have to see to it that I
successfully educate my own children, before I can have a part in the education
of someone else’s children.
WAYS TO BECOME YOUR CHILD’S TEACHER
As a dad we can initiate or participate in activities that
help our children succeed academically. Helping our children learn can increase
their success in school. It is extremely important for our children to be independent
learners. We want them to develop a hunger for knowledge, and become lifetime
learners. The frequency with which we interact in positive ways with our
children will reflect our investment in our child’s education and communicate
to them the importance of doing well in school.
Here are some steps that we can take at home that will make a positive
difference in our children’s education.
When your children are young read to your children, and as
they get older encourage them to develop a love of reading on their own. The
internet has become the tool that kids use for school assignments and reports.
Encourage your kids to do some conventional research and take a trip to the
library with them to find the books that they can use to complete a report or a
project.
Establish daily routines with your kids that encourage times
for homework and other activities. As a divorced dad I have to be sure to
schedule time for my kids to visit my home on school nights. I have not been as
successful with this with my oldest daughter Sarah as I would have liked. She
is now almost 17 years old and has a very independent spirit. She is doing well
in high school and chooses to visit my home on a very limited basis. That’s
okay. My involvement is going to grow exponentially as she begins to prepare to
go to college. I will have guide her through this process and assist her in
making wise academic and career choices. My younger daughter Grace is in the 5th
grade and visits me 2-3 days a week. We do homework together have dinner and
talk about her day, as well as my day. I enjoy sharing stories with her about
what I did during the day. She also enjoys hearing stories about my childhood
and what my father was like when I was a little boy. I have to be sure to take
small steps, and monitor my progress and development as I attempt to take on
this role as an educator for my children. I know that I am not perfect. I do
know this though, every moment that I spend with them, and every positive word
that I say will help me build stronger relationships with my children. Being
divorced may not have been the very best thing for my kids, but it has forced
me to look at my role as a father and use
the time that I spend with them as an opportunity for them to view me as their
first teacher.