The best advice I ever received came from my mentor teacher back in my college years, “Make them love you. When they love you, they’ll do anything for you… even learn.” This message seemed so simple, and yet was so powerful, that became my most important principle in behavior management, motivating me to develop skills in child guidance and psycho-education. My mentor’s advice helped me understand that any teacher’s ability to influence, persuade, and guide a habitually disruptive student towards positive classroom behavior depends on the bond, or rapport, established between the child and the adult. With rapport, and creating an alliance for change, teachers can shift the balance from negative interactions and disruptive behavior to positive interactions and compliance. Rapport with the student will be our best psycho-educational tool during difficult times, for example, during acting-out episodes or tantrums. The more the child likes us and wants to please us, the more compliance we get. On the other hand, without rapport, our ability to influence and guide the child will be very limited.

What do you think? What was the best advice in behavior management that you ever heard or read?

I agree that there needs to be a good rapport between the student and the teacher. Colleagues have said to me, "...how did you get him to do that?..."

A psychiatrist working with the program I taught in once said, "bypass the behaviors and see where they are coming from". Change the antecedent or what the child reacts to, and then the behaviors will change.