8 Parenting Tips for Happier Holidays with Young Children

Anonymous — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 11:00:00 GMT

It's time once again to begin preparing for the holidays and gearing up for family, fun, and festivals. The kids will be getting excited and home for school vacation. Here are eight tips for ensuring a happier holiday season.

TIP # 1: Good Behavior in Someone Else's Home

At some point prior to arriving at someone else's home for a holiday party, get to your child's eye level and go over the rules for being at the party. You may even ask them to explain the rules to you and don't be surprised if they already know. Throughout the event, acknowledge them every time you witness the behavior you want. If their behavior has been a problem in the past, tell them there will be a consequence to bad behavior and that consequence will be leaving the party. If you choose this option, be ready to implement it immediately, and don't punish them. The punishment is the departure itself and your complete silence on the drive home.

TIP # 2: Reduce the Toys and Gifts

A few weeks before the holiday season arrives, allow your child to lead an activity to thin out the usable toys and clothes they already have and then donate them to a local charity. Let your child have as much participation in the process, especially the delivery to the donation center. Commit to buying your children less toys. Too many can create visual chaos and excess stimulation, and certainly do not teach crucial lessons of moderation and limits.

TIP # 3: Take Care of Yourself

When you become stressed over the holidays, your appearance of being frantic and frazzled will be felt by the children and they too will begin to simulate it in their own way. Take time out for yourself to recharge your batteries. You need extra rest, exercise, and healthy eating, ingredients for greater self-control and patience.

TIP # 4: Teach Children Gratitude

Make it a priority to get your family involved in a giving exercise this holiday season. Donate your time to volunteer for a charitable organization by wrapping gifts for a gift collection agency, delivering a meal to a shut-in, or serving the hungry at a soup kitchen. This act of compassion will remain with your children for a very long time. During the thanksgiving holiday, my family and I would prepare and deliver a meal to an elderly person living alone. I'll never forget the year we delivered our dinner to an elderly lady who was so grateful for our gift, she cried as we left. My son was silent as we drove away and he had tears welling in his eyes.

TIP # 5: Don't Over Schedule

During the holidays we automatically think about wanting to connect and be with family and friends. But if past holidays have not been fond memories because of over scheduling, reconsider your plans for this year and commit to simplifying the family calendar or take a vacation away from home. This move may require having to say no to some invitations or changing routines. One family we connect with often makes it a point to avoid the holiday rush. They plan plenty of get-togethers throughout the year and then disappear at Thanksgiving and/or Christmas to take cruises, go to Disney, or travel to see family out of state.

TIP # 6: Set Realistic Expectations for the Kids

Let's face it; December can be a stressful month for the kids and stressful or busy times for you. This guarantees that your children are going to behave differently and it will be a challenge getting them to cooperate and remain calm. Clarify your boundaries and rules and be patient when their excitement gets in the way. Remind yourself about the true meaning of the holidays; it's not about having the perfect family. A big mistake parents make is remembering the holidays from their childhood and trying to recreate them today.

TIP # 7: Create the Reverence of New Traditions

Participating in family traditions that were passed down can be fun and exciting, but it can also add to the stress of the holidays when it means having to recreate complex meals, trips, and events that originally belonged to someone else. Take bold steps to create new traditions for your immediate family that will leave lasting impressions, regardless of how simple they might be. When my children were young, we started a new tradition of allowing the kids to open one gift on Christmas Eve. We intentionally gave them new pajamas in this one special gift and they would be the pajamas they would wear to bed that night. Each year after that, I came up with fun and creative ways of disguising the gift to keep them guessing, because they knew what they would find in the packages. Creating new and fun traditions and faithfully celebrating them each year with consistency will teach your children how to do it themselves when they have families of their own.

TIP # 8: Be the Person You Want Your Children to Be

Finally, there is no better way to teach your children how to enjoy the holidays than to demonstrate being the person you want them to be. The most powerful training your children will ever have is the observations they make of your behavior on a daily basis. Work hard to remain calm and loving throughout the holidays. When you find yourself on the threshold of an emotional reaction to someone else's behavior, ask yourself if what you're about to say or do will bring your family closer together, or create more distance. Being close of course, is what the holidays are all about!

Get more help for discipline for small children at http://www.StopTheTantrums.com

Bill Corbett is the author of the award-winning parenting book series, LOVE, LIMITS, & LESSONS: A PARENT'S GUIDE TO RAISING COOPERATIVE KIDS (in English and in Spanish) and the executive producer and host of the public access television show CREATING COOPERATIVE KIDS (http://www.CooperativeKids.com). As a member of the American Psychological Association and the North American Society for Adlerian Psychology, Bill provides parent coaching and keynote presentations to parent and professional audiences across the country. He sits on the board of the Network Against Domestic Abuse, the Resource Advisory Committee for Attachment Parenting International, and the management team of the Springfield Parent Academy. Bill's practical experience comes as a father of 3 grown children, a grandfather of two, and a stepdad to three. You can learn more about his work at http://www.BillCorbett.com and http://www.StopTheTantrums.com.

Thankful.

Anonymous — Tue, 20 Nov 2012 19:44:11 GMT

As I said ‘Goodbye’ to my sprouts today, I got lots of hugs and one friend even asked his mom to bring him back to the classroom to see me one more time. Sigh. There is so much I am thankful for this year and truly feel as if my cup runneth over. I am [...]

Our preschool parent Christmas gifts and cards

Anonymous — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 15:00:36 GMT

Making our parent gifts in preschool!

99.

Anonymous — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 20:42:00 GMT

Today, in all the flurry of Valentine’s Day, one child began coughing. He clearly didn't feel well. As I walked over to him, he looked up at me and said, “I don’t feel good.”

I felt his forehead and it seemed warm so I whisked him off to the nurse. She quickly took his temperature and reported to me, “Ninety-nine degrees – he’s all right for now… keep an eye on him.” (On a side note, our school nurse is nothing less than a rock star. I told her so and she seemed pleased.)

With that we went back to the celebration of opening Valentine’s. The child walked up to a parent who was helping and said, “Well, I’m ninety-nine percent sick.”

Classic.

How can I get more parents to volunteer?

Anonymous — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 04:57:00 GMT

Ms. Dorothy,

My kindergartener has had several parties since school started. The classroom mom sends out an email each time asking parents to either contribute snacks, crafts, games or a small monetary donation. Every single time it's the same 4 moms that help. One mom even ended up spending $100 (TRUE STORY!) to make sure that there were enough games and activities for whole class. It seems so unfair that out of 30 students, 4 moms are shouldering all of the responsibility. How can we encourage more parents to step-up?

- Exhausted Momma

It is generally true that 10% of the people do 90% of the work, so this isn't unusual. Because you are parents of kindergarten children, you may just be seeing this for the first time. It won't be the last time you find yourself shouldering more than your fair share. You are one of the 10%. Thank you for that, and for all you do.

The problem here is not that the other parents won't step up, the problem is that the teacher is misusing the support that is available.

Rather than throwing parties and having parents providing games and crafts and food, the teacher should be using these willing volunteers to read with students, organize parent education nights, and share their talents, passions and careers with the children.

Perhaps the solution is to get those 4 parents together and have them suggest an alternative to the next party.

What a powerful learning tool it would it be to have these parents find and plan a service project for the class. They could teach their children the value of volunteering, and maybe change that 10% statistic in the future.

Search results matching tags 'holidays' and 'parents'

8 Parenting Tips for Happier Holidays with Young Children

Thankful.

Our preschool parent Christmas gifts and cards

99.

How can I get more parents to volunteer?