Search results matching tags 'life' and 'my life'

I pledge allegiance

Anonymous — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 16:09:17 GMT

To the worst mistake I have ever made. Friending my mom on facebook. It’s horrible. Besides her inane and constant updates, she constantly harrasses me about my updates. *Sigh* THEN, the best part, is she lives vicariously through me. She friends all of my friends, lectures them, tells them they’re bad, harrasses them about their statuses. She even friends people I knew in elementary school. You know, friending people fromhigh school, work, and college is one thing. Going back 20+ years to friend my kindergarten friends, or in my mom’s case my kids’ friends, is ridiculous. Just saying.

Yesterday my mom gave my former best friend I am trying to reconnect with a lecture about saying she didn’t believe in God. My mom is a crazy *** Jesus freak that is constantly condemning or attempting to save people. I HATE IT! It’s embarrassing and so arrogant. Why is your god and way of life better than my own? Living in the bible belt I have a real problem with the number of people that try to save me like daily. It’s infuriating!

I’m not an atheist, neither is former friend, but we both claim agnostic. Actually, I claim The Lion King and natural scientific processes as my belief in religion, but that’s another story. It’s like people saying Nietzsche said, “God is dead and we have killed him.” He’s such a bad atheist! WRONG! N. was saying since science has explained mythology of explaining processes, and psychology has explained the soul, what is making us be good without fear of divine retribution? He then went on to discuss that we should live moral lives because it is the right thing to do, NOT to get good stuff in heaven.

I am not anti-Christian or religion, though there are problems in EVERY organized religion I have been a part of, I just really hate the people that want to save me all the time. So pretentious. And I hate that my mom lectures everyone about how her way is the right way, though this could be because she’s 45 years old and still lives with and depends on her mommy. I appreciate faith journeys and blogs, but don’t force your religion down my throat and I won’t force my science down yours.

Ever have someone push something on you you didn’t want?

Tagged: life, me time, my life, Oklahoma Sucks, politics

Where am I going

Anonymous — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 00:05:38 GMT

I was talking to my hubs about the goals of this blog. First and foremost I want to chronicle my day to day life. Sometimes this is sad, depressing, and messy. Sometimes I get in funks. Writing is cathartic to me, however, I understand lots of people probably do not like reading the good with the bad. I am unsure of whether or not I should post the bad things, such as unappreciative administrators. I have just decided to be true to me.

Although keeping readers interested is important, I believe that by keeping out the bad is untrue to me. I am a teacher. I am a blogger. I am crazy and random, but I am a teacher blogger. I’ve been thinking of advertising to mommy bloggers, but I’m not sure I want to open that can of worms. I want more readers, but I’m not sure how to go about doing that. Hmm.

My intentions for this blog:
1. Chronicle my day
2. Talk about teaching
3. Be crazy and random
4. be a political activist and *** people off with my ssa backwards ideals (or at least some)

Tomorrow: a look at atheism and being bored out of my MIND during state tests.

Note: The neighbor daughter is screaming and fighting with her mom again. I started screaming, too. Makes me feel better… and giggly.

Tagged: life, me time, my life

my kids

Anonymous — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 15:16:34 GMT

It’s Friday. I’m happy. At the beginning of the year my 2nd hour boys class was the class I affectionately… kinda… called the demon class. They drove me out of my mind. They played and were disrespectful and awful. For the last three weeks I have been sitting behind my desk and just having random conversations about stuff. It’s so cool.

I feel really privileged that I have such a great classroom community. There is not one student in here that I do not have something I like. There’s a few that I won’t be sad to see go because they are very emotionally draining, but I like everyone. In all of my classrooms we have a real sense of community. We can talk about what we think about school and world issues. We work together. We act like a community and family. Sometimes things go wrong, but we always bounce back. I am so privileged to know these smart, intelligent, and great young people. I hope my memory stays with them.

I’ve decided that during the CRT I am going to write each of them a letter telling them what they mean to me. I hope that I have impacted them even a little compared to the ocean they have changed me. The students have helped me grow in patience and understanding, i don’t take things so seriously, I understand giving them their time, we care about each other. I’ve learned to not put up with people’s *** and not to take things personally. I have balls, a backbone, strength, understanding, kindness, compassion, empathy, etc. Lots of skills I already had have been honed and made better. Other skills I have expanded. I’ve learned that sometimes I have to keep my mouth shut, but I still have trouble with that. I still need to get better about standing up for myself to adults, but I’m getting there. I have time management, extracurricular management, budget management, and event planning skills.

I am so proud of the person that I have become and the fact that 100+ children who everyone thinks will ammount to nothing helped me find myself.

Tagged: girly, happy, i love my kids, life, me time, my life, my love, talking to myself, teaching

Dysfunction

Anonymous — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 19:58:46 GMT

I don’t have a great relationship with my immediate family. My brother is distant and I don’t connect well with him so much anymore. My sister is crazy and we don’t speak. My father could DIAF. haven’t spoken to him in over 10 years. My mother and I do not get along or see eye to eye at all. She is jealous, vindictive, and manipulative at times. Though in fairness she’s hard working and sacrificed a lot for us kids. My grandmother lived with us as long as I can remember. She is the most unselfish, caring, giving person I know. Sometimes she’s bitter, blunt, and harsh, but she’s also tactful and full of grace. Well, most of the time.

Anyway, I got in a bit of an argument with Nonna the other day because I insist my mom doesn’t care due to petty jealousies, she insists I’m hard headed and won’t accept her in spite of her flaws. I believe her flaws go too far, but she’s still my mom and I try. My sister tends to be a drama queen, manipulative, and selfish. That is putting it nicely. She’s drained my family’s resources while she piddles away her time and life going from boy to boy, addiction to addiction, attention seeking to attention seeking. She manipulates my mom, tells her what she wants to hear, gets my mom wrapped around her finger, takes advantage of her till my mom gets sick of it, mom and sister fight, mom calls me about how hurt and betrayed she is by my sister. My sister moved to New Mexico with a guy she knew a little over a month about a year ago, the first time she was on her own, and is now getting my mom to help pay for her to come back AND let her and the boyfriend live with my mom. I’m pretty upset about it because I spent so much of my life and time struggling to get by and my sister get’s everything handed to her and my mom bends over backwards to help her, but she won’t even cosign a student loan for me. *sigh* The struggles of family.

I hope:

*My sister will grow up
*My mother will grow up
*My Nonna will come live with me
*My family will appreciate me
*My family will be proud of me and all I have accomplished
*That I can make something of myself and rub it in their faces
*That I could grow a backbone and not care what they do, think, etc.

*Sigh*

And it’s almost my birthday… Which my family tends to ignore/give a lot less to because I moved out early and need to be “punished” for abandoning the family. In the meantime, they are paying for everyone to go to Italy except my and my husband (we weren’t even invited) and season tickets to Disney World whereas I get squat. Am I jealous? *** Yeah! Do I feel like if they spend $1000 on my other siblings they should spend $1000 on me, too? Definitely! Will it happen? No. Will I get over it or be resentful? Probably resentful till I let it go and just don’t care anymore like I usually do when I have to deal with inadequate and unfairness.

I feel like whining about this personal injustice is nothing when I have so many pregnant teenagers, abused teenagers, and a student I love that I want to adopt watch be torn down by her family in spite of my calls to state organizations. *sigh*

Tagged: activism, dramaz, family, issues, life, my life, Oklahoma Sucks

Exhaustion

Anonymous — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 15:44:48 GMT

After a week of meltdowns, crying, testing, and lack of sleep from worry, I crashed at about 745 last night. Curled up in a ball on the couch, actually drooled on the pillow, deep sleep. It was intense. My body was like OMG FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SLEEEEEP!!! So I did. And I didn’t wake up until nearly 10 a.m. ***! I feel way better, though. Yesterday I was feeling like my cold/flu thing was coming back and now I feel like 80% better, since I can still only use one nostril. Fever, swollen glands, and sore throat are gone gone gone!

On the drama front with my school counselor, apparently she got a hold of the mother and her come in yesterday morning to talk with the daughter and nurse (because teenage pregnancy isn’t an emotional issue but a nursing? Yeah, it’s health, too but c’mon). I talked to the baby daddy and he said the girl was grateful for me helping her and she told her mom last night, who went and got two more pregnancy tests and they were both negative so they were taking her to the doctor after lunch to see what’s wrong. The head principal called me into his office to talk about the write up I did. He said he was very disturbed by her unprofessional behavior and from this point on I will bring any case to him or the Asst. Principal and NOT her. YAY! He did say that according to the latest union vote any staff member is allowed to know who made a complaint and see what they wrote, which disturbs me because she’s gotten in my face before that. I told him that and he said, “Well, if she does tell her you really don’t want to talk about the issue without an administrator present, if she continues to press the issue or get in your face, I heard you scream loud so get someone else close by and we’ll file harrassment charges against her.” ***. That’s sad it has come to this. At least the child is getting the help she needs now, and that is all that is important to me.

On a side note, I have been incredibly busy during each of my planning periods this week and did not have a chance until yesterday to go talk to the head principal about the successes I was able to share with our Vice Superintendent. The previous day I had tried to tell the principal that attended the conference with us but had to leave early, but could not because then the issue arose with the child during my planning period, and she came and interrupted my class twice to talk to me. So I made an appointment to talk to her Friday and told her I was sorry I couldn’t make it down there during my plan Thursday, but there was an issue with a student that I had to deal with and couldn’t abandon her because it could have escalated into a DHS issue. She was pissy but left it alone. I went down there Friday to tell her about the meeting and presentation, and in the middle of what I was saying she interrupted me to say “What did you say about me?”

“I’m sorry,” I responded. “I didn’t mention you because this was like a job interview about me and my success now about you.”

“Well what did you say about the school?”

“I said that the program has changed the entire climate of reading and writing as positive things. I may have said something about your getting parents involved, but I didn’t talk about you, it was about me and my classroom. I talked a little about my co teacher and head principal and what all they’ve done, but I didn’t talk about you.” *** I practically don’t talk to you anyway. She got kind of pissy again and said she would make an appointment for me to talk to the head principal about this. I was like ok, I can go down there when he’s not busy but whatever, thanks. She sends me a note with an office aid saying to go to head principal third hour. Co teacher wants to come like a proud mama. OK, no problem. I get down there and asst. not my principal walks in with head principal then comes and sits down at my meeting and starts telling him my news. I just look at her like excuse me? Then she’s like well I’ll let her tell you. So I get to tell him. He’s ecstatic. I get to go to a conference in FL! WOOT! Then she cuts in that I was supposed to go see her first and not come straight down here as per her note. I was like um, no. And she gets all pissy. When I went to meet with head principal about the counselor, he said that she said I wasn’t following protocol and began complaining about my unprofessional attitude and demeanor. WHAT? Apparently head principal told her he thinks I’m way more professional than most anyone in the building and I always follow protocol and converse with him and my direct supervisor, my principal, then reminded her she wasn’t my boss and he would hear no complaints about me. It was nice he told me, it makes me feel like he trusts me with stuff like this and to warn me to watch my back, but I’m like ***.

My principal told me later she was complaining this morning because someone told her last night that I was spreading rumors about her. WHAT? This woman is the most hated staff member because she is aloof, doesn’t care about anything except her own agenda, and when in front of a group rattles on and on about her agenda to the point the head principal asks her to stop, she won’t stop, then he dismisses everyone while she’s still talking. Yeah, that sounds unprofessional, but this has been going on since summer and everyone is tired of it. Despite all of this, I have tried really hard to find things I like about her. I reprimand other people for talking bad about her. In fact, Thursday night and made my principal and the 7th grade principal apologize to her spirit because they were being unnecessarily cruel. And someone put this idiotic rumor in her head and now she’s going to start talking about me and treating me like *** and I’m the only one that defends the ***? I’m definitely having a talk with her Monday about what the *** happened, I thought we had a good professional relationship and what’s her deal. Then when she goes off I am going to be like I have been the only person in this building that defends you and you treat me like *** instead of knowing that I always talk to you, greet you, sit with you when you are at lunch because everyone else gets up and leaves. Whatever. It’s like the people in this building that are unprofessional and don’t care about expanding their knowledge adopt the personality and maturity flaws of our children. I guess that makes sense since humans usually adopt characteristics of those we are around a lot, but still. GRR!

Ok, that’s enough bitching. In good news, a district person came and observed me yesterday and said, mind you while my boys were misbehaving for attention, that I had excellent classroom management and he’s never been in a first year’s classroom like mine. He called it a breath of fresh air since some other people in the building really need some help, to the point his ears were ringing. ***. I felt both uplifted, dismayed since I thought my kids were misbehaving, and sad for the other students.

I have failed at exercising this week, on a personal note, but I still lost 3 pounds probably from running around all week like crazy.

My bunny is rearranging some cardboard boxes so I’m going to go play with her and enjoy my beautiful weekend. If you read that whole thing, you get a gold star lovvis!

Tagged: dramaz, issues, life, me time, teaching

It’s so good being home

Anonymous — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 01:40:32 GMT

1. It is unbelievable how nice it is to be home. To sit around my mostly clean house and watch my rabbit running around and talking to my hubby and good friend Ryan is just bliss. I feel very welcome at my coteachers house, but if I wanna just sit and be quiet, read, type, sit around, or whatever I feel almost guilty because as a house guest I feel like I should talk to them or clean or something. I even got home early today. It is an entirely different feeling to be in your home than to be welcomed/allowed in another’s. AND, as an aside, beautiful compy was fixed for FREE! W00T Apple Care!

2. Wanna hear about some craziness on my drive home? A truck in front of me had it’s muffler fall off and bounce off the highway. Every time i tried to pass his stinky *** he flipped me off and sped up. When I tried to point out the smoke behind him, he flipped me off and sped up. I had to follow stinky *** all the way to Stillwater, over 60 miles (Dude I just deleted the word like because of a forum post on 20sb. haha).

3. This evening I FINALLY got my claim filed with the crappy insurance company of the girl who hit me in January. And they didn’t even yell at me. Can someone explain to me why anyone would say they didn’t have a passenger when they did? It’s weird.

4. My students took their writing test today. I think they rocked it. I’m really questioning a lot of my methods and their effectiveness. I really hope that we can get these kids, who are smart and deserve awesome things, to the level they need to be for completion of this grade. They got dealt a crappy hand and I really hope I can help them. We’ve already expanded so much of their knowledge in score comparisons from last year, I only hope we can keep it going. I also sat in on a girl coming out to us, which is like the 10th girl I have had come out to me, but it’s always such a cool thing to be a part of.

What accomplishments are you proud of this week? What do you look forward to during the week?

Tagged: happy, homophobes are stupid, issues, life, lists are love, my life, Oklahoma Sucks, random, teaching

marathon interview with myself

Anonymous — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 20:40:00 GMT

After completing my marathon, I thought I would go Q&A style by interviewing myself.

John: What was your time?

Spencer: I ran it in five hours and twenty minutes.

John: Is that what you were aiming for?

Spencer: I had no target time, so I'm not really disappointed. There were a few things that caused me to run slower. First, the hills at Lost Dutchman are brutal. Second, I ran too fast in the beginning, so I was lagging later. Finally, I've been real sick to my stomach since Thursday night. I vomited twice today and I had di . . .

John: I get the point. Let's move on. What was the best part of the marathon?

Spencer: Definitely seeing Christy and the boys. They had these hand-painted signs and they cheered me on. I seriously felt like quitting after mile ten and I was almost in tears, but Joel said, "You can do it!" and that made all the difference.

John: Sounds like an amazing wife.

Spencer: Yep, she is. And she's hot, too.

John: Were there any strange incidents?

Spencer: I had some interesting conversations with two women who I think were a couple, but might have just been good friends. They asked me my sons' names and then one of them started talking about why she loved the book of Micah. Not exactly the location that I would assume for a spiritual conversation.

John: Any other highlights?

Spencer: Running in the desert was amazing. Seeing the finish line was great. Not only were Christy and the boys there, but our friend Julia cheered me on as well. There was one mentally handicapped kid who was handing out water and, maybe because I am so emotional, it nearly moved me to tears. It's cool to see someone with Down Syndrome get a chance to serve, instead of just be served. I know it's strange, but at mile twenty-four, seeing that was like fuel to keep going.

John: Which running cartoon character do you relate the most to?

Spencer: That's a ridiculous question. It's glib and it's poorly constructed. I guess I'd have to go with the Roadrunner.

John: Why not Speedy Gonzalez? Is it an issue of latent racism?

Spencer: No, it's just that I'm a distance runner, that's all.

John: Yeah, but you prefer to run on dirt and so does Speedy Gonzalez. Why not him?

Spencer: Can we move on?

John: Sure, the best way to fight racism is to not acknowledge it, right? Okay, so how are you feeling now that it's over?

Spencer: I'm relieved. I'm surprisingly not in much pain. I'm not even that tired. Looking back, I feel like the biggest accomplishment was the journey. I never would have thought that I'd lose sixty pounds and be in good shape.